5 Insane People Who Just Got Fired from Teaching Your Kids

Like a good student, the unnamed teen went ahead and did the assignment without pausing to question the logic, value, or sanity of it. Suggested methods for starting summer vacation early included poison and "a mouse," though it's unclear if it was a computer mouse being wielded as a makeshift flail and/or garrote or an actual flesh-hungry rodent. The student had the self-exonerating wherewithal to include the qualifying phrase "When I do this (if I do) ...," so the school should probably run a plagiarism check to make sure the whole thing wasn't cribbed from O.J. Simpson's book.

OJ Simpson
The Juice didn't think to blame a mouse.

No specific teachers were threatened, which scaled the issue back from "Call the police immediately" to a mere "What in the name of Teaching Mrs. Tingle were you thinking?" The tutor was of course fired, presumably in a creative essay called "How to Terminate an Incompetent Nimrod." The student was "completely cleared of any wrongdoing," although they presumably received zero credit for the essay.

Both men were temporarily suspended, after which the principal voluntarily stepped down, while the counselor later returned to work. Both also abandoned horror filmmaking (though it appears they're attempting to make a comedy under a new company name), to the disappointment of the "We Support Moongoyle" Facebook page (aka themselves) and a presumably large percentage of the school's male students. This might actually be for the best -- while the Moongoyle-produced Mind Morgue has a respectable 6.2 rating on IMDb, The Limb Collector comes in at 5.2 and then Demon of Castlebury has just 4.1. With that downward trend in quality, we can't imagine that Tobacco Jack, presumably scrapped now, would have lived up to Moongoyle standards.

As a prolific vlogger, CrackrocKid ranted about the evils of single parents and interracial relationships, exposed the Muslim con-man known as Barack HUSSEIN Obama, and named one of his videos "Not Sorry for Slavery." Don't worry, Rigler's not endorsing slavery -- he just refuses to apologize for it. After all, "If it were not for the institution of slavery, African Americans more than likely would not exist. At least the ones who we ... live amongst, work with, watch, and enjoy." We're not sure about the exact mechanics of Rigler's African American-enjoying method, but the feeling isn't mutual: outraged parents of all races protested at a school board meeting, where Rigler offered a standard "I'm sorry you were offended" non-apology before his fellow board members inexplicably decided not to dismiss him.

Barbara Miller
"I'd like to thank cannabisgary, ASSWRECKER, and Hitler_Was_Right for their support."

Keeping on a president who refused to disown his 4chan-level views didn't go over super well, though, and he resigned a couple weeks later. However, all of Rigler's videos have since been set to private (because they mean too much to him to be taken down completely), so potential future employers will be forced to Google the library of news articles about his unapologetic racism to find out what a douche he is.

She obviously wasn't seriously advocating for an ad hoc eugenics program, but parents weren't thrilled by the insinuation that it would be easier to shoot their kids in the face than keep track of which ones can't have dairy, and their resulting protests led to Grossmann stepping down. Sadly, she announced her resignation by letter, thereby missing out on a legitimate comedic opportunity to give a farewell speech loaded with her trademark zingers.

It began when a student at Sanchez's school allegedly threatened to shoot an assistant principal. While the student was arrested before class began, Sanchez saw a chance to turn an averted tragedy into a learning opportunity -- he told students another gunman was still on the loose, then said, "If y'all have ever bullied somebody else, you're going to be the first ones to go," and, "If he comes in here and starts shooting, hopefully he'll be out of bullets by the time he finishes with y'all and sees me." Yep -- Sanchez literally told his students that he hoped the murderer emptied his weapon into their frightened, shrieking bodies so that Sanchez's life would be spared. The kicker is that Sanchez taught criminal justice, even though he clearly only believes in the kind of justice dispensed by the Punisher.

Rather than being sent into a deep reflection about their attitudes toward others, the kids focused on the "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A KILLER COMING" part, and 130 of them called their parents to come pick them up immediately. Sanchez was super-arrested for inciting a mass panic, and he was later fired for pretty much the same reason.

Hays County Sheriff's Office
At least he has a bright future writing country and/or hip hop lyrics.

Mark Hill works at a Mind Morgue. Read more from him at his website.

For more scholastic insanity, check out 6 Shockingly Evil Abuses of Power by School Officials and The 5 Biggest Pussifications of Schools.