The Stones were playing the Hampton Coliseum in 1981 when a fan jumped onstage and started running toward vocalist Mick Jagger.
"No one kills him but me!"
With Jagger busy using his hips to give Maroon 5 something to sing about 30 years later, Keith Richards took control of the situation by casually bashing the guy with his Telecaster, only to resume playing moments later.
He painted that sucker's eyes black. And blue. And also probably red.
Richards' beatdown is justified if you put this performance into context: It happened almost exactly a year after the fatal shooting of John Lennon by a crazed fan. And as a touching footnote, a mummified Richards later claimed to have bailed the fan out of jail after the show.