The Renaissance featured some of the greatest artists and intellects the world had ever seen. Now they're cheaply drawn turtles who hit people, and Italy wants to continue that trend.
Also: How stupid was it that they made Donatello the inventor, not Leonardo?
3The Reverse Witchcraft Trial
In an attempt to reverse the Dark Ages but still end up with something terrible, an Italian court has sentenced six scientists to prison for not predicting the future. Before the L'Aquila earthquake of 2009, scientists of the National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks explained that the hundreds of recent minor tremors didn't change the risk of an earthquake, which couldn't be excluded. Unfortunately, a commission civil servant then excluded the shit out of it at a press conference by saying that it was safe to stay at home and drink wine. This quote was popular, because "drinking to convince yourself everything will be fine" is always popular.
"One more glass, then I'll find a nice fault line to nap on while holding all my valuables."