12 Drunk Texts Recovered From Famous Moments in History

Now that we communicate via text message, we have a permanent record of the stupid reasons that we do everything. We asked you to show us what history might have looked like if we'd always had written digital imprint of every drunken night out. The winner is below, but first the runners up ...

Entry by BaconGristle

CofE 3G 5:00 AM CRACKEDC CON Messages J. Calvin Edit omfg lol, Martys SO shitfaced bro, he wrote like 95 reasons why The Church is dicks on a bar napk

Entry by BaconGristle

AT&T 3G 6:00 PM AT&T 3G 7:30 PM Messages Adams Edit Messages Adams Edit Get ur lame ass over to Samuel? the dartmuoth wer'e terinh that shi t DOWN@! Y

Entry by aerodynamite

MAGIC a2.. 3G 2:32 AM Messages Tak Edit UNnggkK... Krung? UgnnHHHGGKK!!11 ?!?! Send

Entry by Sksmith

AT&T 3G 07:33 PM 100% Messages CatherineThe Edit Omg, what did I do last night, i feel awful. Um.. I feel like I sat on of those roman victory columns

Entry by Matt799

al. Heaven 3G 9:50 AM Messages Joseph Smith Edit Go outside. I left you some golden plates Who is this? They are right outside your house. Look for a

Entry by Phighter

.. LEXTON 3G 10:05 PM Messages British Edit You shoot first No you shoot first No you shoot first I'll shoot first GRAGKED Send

Baldwin BIue 12:58 AM 100% Messages CAP'N SMITH Edit Apr 15. 1912. 11:35 PM just saying you should probably take it easy. Read 11:36 PM it isnt even t

CRAGNEDCON VAN GOGH AWAY Edit uh hey... I can't really remember last night...0 did come over and give you a present? ur disgusting, dont txt me anymor

Entry by Lunachick71

i.. AT&T 3G 8:38 AM 83% Messages Edward Edit What the hell? Honey, it's not what it looks like. I went for a few drinks after work. to celebrate. It w

Entry by drudru

ROMOBIL 3G 3:07 AM Messages Marcus Brutus Edit OMG sick of thsiss bulshit with Caesar someone should jlijusst f in stab him..like in the face Are you

Entry by BRWombat

5 19:56 Tottally about to lite it up in Lakehurst, man! Big honking fireworks to welcome the Hidden.. bber... zippelin? big blimp USA- style! 7:19 Fir


al. SparTel 3G 3:11 AM Messages Jonah Edit Not cool bro. Not cool. I don't give a shit if you are God. That's it. We're going to fight. CRAGKED Send