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No need to ever return to Earth
Now that’s some real innovention!
You gotta at least give William Castle credit for trying — and trying and trying and trying
Here’s a three-dollar jar of bait, Mr. President
Don’t you dare try lip synching in Turkmenistan
You definitely never want to be a LOBNH, DKA, JPS or DMFNFL
It’s one thing to buy a winning scratch-off lotto ticket. It’s another to buy it just before you survive a fiery plane crash
Look, sometimes being funny requires total focus and concentration
Don’t get us wrong: Mickey D’s is awful. Just not for the reasons you think
We really need to start washing our hands better after going number two
Stop, stop! He's already dead!
Look at these idiot billionaires!
You can't be trusted on your own
Hands off my haggis
Hope you like reading the word "mucilage"
Where in the world is... an untenable amount of insects and lizards