Cracked Archive - Sex
7 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy
Thanks to sitcoms, romantic comedies and our mother's cuss-filled horror stories, we all know pregnancy is no walk in the park. In fact, pregnancy can cause some horrible, horrible things, like inny belly buttons temporarily turning into outies and ugly-people-making. Not to mention this stuff.
1543 The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom
Mating among animals and insects is no less complicated than it is among humans. It's all about being devious, and when it comes to sex, even the lowest of life forms have mastered the art of trickery, deceit and blackmail.
- Authors
- By Jonathan Wojcik
- Published
- Comments
-
479
The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship
These tips won't win you love, but they sure will keep you in love.
- Authors
- By Kathy Benjamin
- Published
- Comments
- 968
The 7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid
Men have gone above and beyond the call of duty -- risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.
- Authors
- By Rohan Ramakrishnan, Eddie Rodriguez
- Published
- Comments
- 456
The Bad Drunk's Guide to Partying [FLOWCHART]
It's not enough to merely suck. The obnoxious drunk knows he must suck at ear splitting volumes.
- Authors
- By S.D
- Published
- Comments
- 107
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!
How to Be a Good Husband During 'Lady Times' [COMIC]
It's our duty as men.
- Authors
- By Scott Meyer
- Published
- Comments
- 319
7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo
- Authors
- By Dennis Hong, Katherine Smith
- Published
- Comments
- 2772
Straight Guy's Guide to Being Friends With Hot Women [COMIC]
Bragging about your stamina is a bad idea, it turns out.
- Authors
- By Scott Meyer
- Published
- Comments
- 207
7 Bizarre Products for Dressing Up Your Genitals
In a time when everything from artificial tans to calf implants has become culturally acceptable, for some reason genitals usually get left out of the body-decoration process. The only real option until recently was choosing between carpet or hardwood floors. Well, not anymore!
- Authors
- By Pauli Poisuo
- Published
- Comments
- 705
Online Stalking: How to Google Your Way Out of Love [CHART]
The most common form of online creepiness.
- Authors
- By Stephen Cook
- Published
- Comments
- 336
The 7 Most Terrifying Sex Toys Ever Patented
We've found seven people with the ego, the balls and the terrifying machinery to shout, 'Everyone in the world was boning wrong before I came along!'
- Authors
- By Luke McKinney
- Published
- Comments
- 562
6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex With
According to science, the world around you is dangerously full of hidden aphrodisiacs that can land you in bed, and even in long-term relationships, with someone who's totally wrong for you.
- Authors
- By Mark M., Kathy Benjamin, Sami Reeves
- Published
- Comments
- 959
The 6 Most Cynical Exploitations of Romantic Love in History
Every year, we hear too-cool cynics deride Valentine's Day as a holiday invented by greeting card companies that cynically exploit romantic love for profit. But we say, so what? Society has been exploiting romantic love since the day it was invented.
- Authors
- By Robert Evans
- Published
- Comments
- 457
5 Scientific Reasons Your Girlfriend's Father Hates You
There's nothing you can do about it, because the Universe is working to make sure the old man hates you forever.
- Authors
- By Mark M.
- Published
- Comments
- 1089
5 People Who Started Religions Just to Get Laid
Sometimes, joining a cult means finding yourself attached at the junk to a creepy weirdo who couldn't figure out a less shameless way to get laid.
- Authors
- By Eric Yosomono
- Published
- Comments
- 678
