Cracked Archive - Sex

No one really knows where fetishes come from. Especially ones involving self-burning genitals.

• By Amanda Mannen, Anonymous
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• March 13, 2016

Never disregard the power of an angry mother.

• By Patrick Coyne
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• March 11, 2016

There's nothing technically illegal about getting paid to beat someone up with their permission, as long as you don't touch their gabbles.

• By Amanda Mannen
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• January 31, 2016

Assphyxia had a client who tried to work himself like a butter churn in between visits to see her. His weapon of choice was the wooden handle of his bathroom plunger.

• By Felix Clay
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• January 24, 2016

Asking a couple if they would be amenable to you joining them for sex is awkward at best, and I've found even getting them to include you in dinner plans can be a hassle.

• By Felix Clay
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• January 02, 2016

I ache for you, Colby, and long to relive our time in the hayloft, and the potting shed, and the couch. I don't know why I mentioned the couch last.

• By Chris Bucholz
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• December 05, 2015

The gods, repulsed by Indra's full-body menstruation, undid his curse by turning all of the vaginas into eyes, which gave Indra his official title as the Thousand-Eyed God.

• By Abraham Mireles, Laura H, Kelly Stanaway
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• December 05, 2015

Here's the reality: If you've paid for sex, there's a significant chance the person you were with was there against their will.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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• December 03, 2015

I'm not here to mock other people's tastes, because I can feel the judging eyes of my Daria Morgendorffer body pillow from across the room.

• By Mark Hill
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• November 15, 2015

For totally not-personal reasons, we found ourselves talking to Amber, a licensed sex therapist. Here's what she told us about human sex in general

• By Anonymous, Amanda Mannen
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• November 08, 2015

I have decided to put my very body on the line to help you, fellow jackers, determine just what is the best method of wanking.

• By Felix Clay
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• November 07, 2015

Man, did I ever take one for the team on this article.

• By Felix Clay
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• October 24, 2015

If you're reading this, then you have access to the Internet. Therefore, you've seen plenty of things which no mortal should ever see.

• By Pauli Poisuo
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• October 17, 2015

Mrs. Teachington's boobs flopped from side to side as she thanked Tommy for staying after class.

• By Little Timmy Oxford
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• October 16, 2015

We recently had a chance to sit down with a pair of police officers -- John and Jane -- who carried out sting operations against street-level prostitutes in a large American city. Here's what we learned.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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• October 11, 2015