But not only did Laws endure -- she fucking won. After a lengthy investigation, she turned over every scrap of evidence she had to the FBI, who in turn arrested Moore for unauthorized access to her daughter's computer, among a host of other charges. In December 2015, Moore was sentenced to two and a half years in prison, where the question "Is anyone up?" takes on a whole new dimension.
Catholic School Girls Attack And Capture A Pervert Flasher
For the type of creeper who hangs around Catholic schools and flashes the students, the fantasy is probably that a dozen or so of those girls will get riled up, chase after him -- their knee-high socks pumping, their plaid skirts fluttering in the air -- and then pin him to the ground.
That exact scenario played out for one particular pervert in 2003; it just wasn't quite as sexy as he'd hoped. The flasher had been exposing himself to students of St. Maria Goretti's, an all-girls Catholic school in South Philadelphia. However, instead of the averted gazes and muffled giggling he was probably hoping for, he found himself facing the fury of a horde of teenage girls the likes of which hasn't been seen since Sephora ran out of lip gloss.
Jetta Productions/DigitalVision/Getty ImagesEven the Sukeban had to tip their hats and be all, "Damn."
Like a ridiculous neighborhood gang from The Warriors, the Catholic schoolgirls chased after the man and eventually tackled him to the ground. Far from repenting his gross ways, as you'd hope, the flasher instead tried to pull a small knife on the gaggle of teenagers. Again, this didn't unfold the way he'd assumed. The girls did not squeal and run away in terror -- they kicked the tiny knife (metaphor, anyone?) right out of his damn hand, then gave him a few bonus kicks just for having the nerve.
So we guess the overall moral of this article is: Don't fuck with Philly girls.
Patrick Coyne is secretly two boys under a long trench coat, pretending to be one adult man. Check out his blog, Florida Cousins.
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