We're all just one impulsive Google images search away from facing the unblinking darkness that lurks within the heart of man. But that black pit of twisted evil and decay shouldn't surprise anybody; it's rooted in our genetic makeup. Literally.
I want to live forever. Enter the pseudo-science of cleansing, offering immediate absolution for lifetimes of indulgence. Cleanses promise everything from curing disease to eternal youth in exchange for a week of misery and incessant pooping.
Animals have been cranking out architectural marvels since humanity was still trying to figure out how pooping works.
The nice thing about natural disasters is that you always know who to blame them on: your god, your god's greatest mortal enemy or a kraken. Unfortunately, we don't have the same luxury when it comes to catastrophes brought on by man -- especially when all of man's bright ideas for fixing them just keep making them worse.
When mankind finally makes the big leap from Earth to space, it's probably not going to be the time-warping black holes or mouth-raping aliens that do him in. In fact, tomorrow's astronauts will be on the lookout for dangers that are laughably mundane.
he universe is patient. It can wait. But rest assured: Some day, when you least expect it, it will reap a terrible vengeance upon you.
Every once in a while, Mother Nature surprises us with her resiliency, Wolverine-like healing abilities and willingness to step in and clean up our filthy messes when we prove ourselves incompetent.
Stop what you're doing because, whatever it is, you're probably screwing it up.
Repeat after us: Medicine. Is. Not. Magic.
A lot of the half-assed stuff we do not only doesn't help but actually ends up making things worse for everyone.
According to countless self-proclaimed fitness experts, apparently there is only one way to avoid obesity and early death: their way.
Somewhere in the world right now a harpy eagle is choking on the remnants of a helium balloon and a giant sea turtle is strangling itself in a six-pack ring. Nature, by its very ... nature, is cruel; it claims the lives of animals wantonly, sometimes the lives of entire species, leaving the rest terrified and wondering which will be the next group.
Land sharks are funny. Until you realize that killer whales can do that.