Cracked Archive - News
Mommy England Is Threatening To Take Away Our Tear Gas
We're just not responsible enough to use it.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
-
39
39 Aunt Jemima Is Getting A Long Overdue Rebranding
Now someone just has to do something about the football team in Washington.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 54
6 Good Dogs (We Clearly Don't Deserve)
We realize this is a controversial statement, but we're going to come out and say it anyway: dogs are good.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
- Published
- Comments
- 48
NYPD Gets Weird Poops, Claims Shake Shack 'Poisoned' Them
Get over yourself: They’re conspiring to poison all of us.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 43
How Cops In Other Countries Treat Firearms
Even the reporting of firearm deaths in this country is subpar.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 81
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Don't Trash-Talk eBay; They Might Threaten You Mafia-Style
Your grandma's favorite website turned into the CIA-mafia when we weren't looking.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 12
Corporate Execs Are Still Being Greedy Trash During This
Corporate America won't let a little global pandemic slow down executive pay and bonuses.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 48
Fox News Mistakes 'Monty Python' Quote As BLM Radical Agenda
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 67
Don't Take 'Karen' Away From Us
It meant for a specific use, not whatever BS trash people are trying to tie it to.
- Authors
- By Archie Grimm
- Published
- Comments
- 167
A Housing Crisis Timebomb Is Set To Go Off
Remember 2008's housing crisis? Well here comes the sequel.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 40
GOP Is Reusing Their '16 Platform ... Which Calls Out 'The Current President'
Even the GOP finds ways to inadvertently dunk on Trump.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 44
A Quick Guide To What 'Defunding The Police' Means
It's way, way, waaaaay more sensible than it might sound.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 114
Trump’s Team Is Running Ads In D.C. To Make Him Feel Better
Trump has no strategy. He is all ego and sadness and anger and it results in weird shit like this.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 91
People Have Taken Trump's Bleach Suggestion To Weirdo New Frontiers
At least use the scented variety to keep your breath smelling like a fresh meadow.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 22
Cops Wearing The Punisher Skull Continues To Be Stupid
The police are proving they are some kind of freak combination of Nazi and nerd.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 52
