Cracked Archive - News
Honest Headlines: 15 Biased Bulletins
You know how momma birds chew up food and then feed it pre-digested into their chicks' mouths? This is like that, but with news.
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 11
Iceberg At Titanic Museum Collapses, Injuring Three
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 5
6 Things A Soldier Learns Dodging Taliban Rockets All Day
America's War in Afghanistan is set to officially end this month, after 20 years. We talked to a couple soldiers deployed there.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- 31
5 Shocking Everyday Things Made By Prisoners
Everyone from murderers to unfortunate souls who get caught with a little stash of weed has the chance of becoming a source of free labor,
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- By Justin Crockett
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Amid Surge of Unruly Passengers, Flight Attendants Flock To Take Self Defense Courses
Don't mess with flight attendants ...
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 14
Honest Headlines: 15 Piping Warm Takes
Whoa! These takes are so hot, they're borderline body temperature!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 14
What's The Deal: Bezos In Space
To 66 miles and... not beyond!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 18
Dutch Teen Who Rode on Blue Origin Flight Told Jeff Bezos He Never Ordered From Amazon
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 10
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Laughs At Question Referencing Dead Children
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 22
Facebook Doesn't Kill People, People and Deadly Viruses Kill People, President Biden Clarifies
Despite President Joe Biden's bold campaign promises of “no malarkey" throughout his 2020 campaign, it seems the American people can still have a little malarkey as a treat.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 11
Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles
We read the news that no one wants to!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 23
No, The Tokyo Olympics Does Not Have 'Anti-Sex' Beds, Athletes, Reporters Say
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- By Carly Tennes
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Sen. Lindsey Graham: 'I Will Go To War' For Chick-fil-A
“I want everyone in South Carolina and across America to know I have Chick fil-A’s back,” he wrote.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 28
Report: Trump-Branded 'Freedom Phone' May Actually Be Budget Device From Asia
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, a MAGA phone?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 27