Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles

By:
Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles

Reading the news? Why not pay a large man to hit you in the face with a shovel! Instead, let us read the news and condense it into pithy oversimplifications!

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Beaver hunting under the Meet the world's tiniest microscope in South Dakota gynecologist today today WATERTOWN,S.D. (AP) - The South Dakota Department of Game, Fish and Parks is weighing how to proceed on beaver hunting in the Black Hills and the state. The idea for a hunting ban came up recently when the Game, Fish and Parks Commission discussed a proposal to create a year-round beaver hunting season across the state, with hunting only allowed in portions of the Black hunting only allowed in portions of the Black Hills

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Los Angeles hopes new mask Los Angeles trapped in mandate will reverse virus spike devastating time loop today today LOS ANGELES (AP) - Los Angeles County LOS ANGELES (AP) - Los Angeles County residents are again required to masks residents are again required to wear mask indoors regardless of their vacd indoors regardless of their vaccination a new mandate starting this weeke a new mandate starting this health officials hope will revers health officials hope will rever spikes in coronavirus cases, hosp zation spikes in coronavirus cases, hospita ations

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Anger as French protesters Confused protesters think compare vaccines to Nazi horrors Nazis SAVED 6 million Jews By ANGELA CHARLTON land CONSTANTIN GOUVY By ANGELA CHARLTON and CONSTANTIN GOUVY 11 minutes ago 11 minutes ago PARIS (AP) - A French Holocaust survivor.has PARIS (AP) A French Holocaust survivo denounced anti-vaccination pro denounced anti-vaccination protesters comparing themselves to Jews win comparing themselves to Jew persecuted by Nazi Germany duri persecuted by Nazi Germany War II. French officials and anti-raci. II. French officials and -racist pp CRACKED.COM

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Cheers! Florida city may legalize Florida says, Let's see how public alcohol drinking *king wild this s* can get. today today GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) - The city that is home to the University of Florida may allow legally SAL DSALGUD people to drink from open containers in public places such as sidewalks. The Gainesville Sun reports that the city commission plans a vote Monday whether on to allow open drinking on city property or right of Way. If the measure passes, second a commission approval would be

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Cuomo faces questioning, other Cuomo faces consequences fallout from harassment probe of his actions By MARINA VILLENEUVE and MICHAEL R. SISAK By MARINA VILLENEUVE and MICHAEL R.SISAK July 16. 2021 July 16. 2021 ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) -With New York Gov, ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) With New York Gov Andrew Cuomo set to be questi Andrew Cuomo set to be questioned Sa investigators appear close to finis investigators appear close to investigation into the sexual hara investigation into the sexual and misconduct allegations that hav misconduct allegations that have wed

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Blue Origin brings space tourism Jeff Bezos graciously creates to tiny Texas town new job: space carnies By SEAN MURPHY today By SEAN MURPHY today BLUE ORIGIN BLUE URIGIN VAN HORN, Texas (AP) For y the VAN HORN, Texas (AP) - For years, the official letterhead for the small official letterhead for the small town Horn, tucked neatly among the foo he Horn, tucked neatly among me Guadalupe Mountains, read sim Guadalupe Mountains, read sitt thing, ranching, mining. ranching, mining. C'RACKED.COM

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Under-fin Olympic composer FIGHTING STEREOTYPES: steps down over past bullying Band kids can be bullies too By YURI KAGEYAMA and MARI YAMAGUCHI today By YURI KAGEYAMA and MARI YAMAGUCHI today TOKYO (AP) . Keigo Oyamada, a Japanese TOKYO (AP) - Keigo Oyamada, a Japanese composer working on the Tokyo Olympics composer working on the Tokyo Olympice opening ceremony, , resigned on opening ceremony, resigned on Monda coming under fire for bullying cla. coming under fire for bullying during his childhood. during his childhood. I sincerely accept the opinions advice I

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Why the Anthony Bourdain voice Disembodied voice of dead cloning creeps people out man as upsetting as ever By MATT O'BRIEN and BARBARA ORTUTAY By MATT O'BRIEN and BARBARA ORTUTAY July 17. 2021 July 17. 2021 The revelation that a documentary filmmaker The revelation that documentary filmma a used voice- -cloning software to used voice -cloning software to make th chef Anthony Bourdain say words chef Anthony Bourdain say spoke has drawn criticism amid spoke has drawn criticism am concerns about use of the power concerns about use of

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen AP FACT CHECK: Trump makes Private citizen spouts bull* false claims about Arizona audit receives national coverage By JONATHAN COOPER July 17. 2021 By JONATHAN COOPER July 17. 2021 PHOENIX (AP) - Former President Donald PHOENIX (AP) - - Former President Donal Trump issued three statements i day Trump issued three statements in two d falsely claiming that voting fraud falsely claiming that voting fra irregularities cost him Arizona's irregularities cost him Arizo otes. Trump relied on comments mad area Trump relied on comments made rsday by CRACKED.COM

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Travel stocks slump, with airlines, Vaccinated travelers starting cruises, hotels tumble to remember traveling sucks By The Associated Press today By The Associated Press today DELTA DELTA Air travel in the United States hit another Air travel in the United States hit another pandemic-e -era record over the weekend as pandemic-era record over the weekend as vacationers jammed airports, but shares of vacationers jammed airports, but shares of airlines, cruise lines, hotels and, airlines, cruise lines, hotels and almost else related to travel tumbled Mo else

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Gladiator costume-clad rioter WORST HALLOWEEN EVER!!! arrested; filmed melee for mom By JACQUES BILLEAUD July 16. 2021 By JACQUES BILLEAUD July 16, 2021 PHOENIX (AP) An Arizona man who PHOENIX (AP) -An Arizona man who stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 while stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 while wearing a Roman gladiator cost wearing a Roman gladiator costume and narrated the melee in videos for as narrated the melee in videos as been arrested, authorities said. been arrested, authorities Nathan Wayne Entrekin. 48, told

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Analysis: Black drivers likeliest to No @&#$ be stopped in Virginia yesterday yesterday NORFOLK, Va. (AP) A newspaper's analysis of state data shows that across Virginia, Black drivers are the only racial or ethnic group stopped by police at a higher rate than their share of the population. Black drivers in Hampton Roads and across Virginia were also more likely to be stopped and searched by police than any other racial or ethnic group, , according to The Virginian- -Pilot's analysis of data recently released as part of a

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Dozens treated after chemical Gallons of piss not even leak at Texas water park the worst thing in this pool yesterday yesterday A chemical leak at a Houston-area water park A chemical leak at a Houston-area water park left dozens suffering from minor. in irrit left dozens suffering from minor skin irri and respiratory issues Saturday and respiratory issues Saturday to said. said. Twenty-nine people were taker. Twenty-nine people were taken Flags CRACKED.COM

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Olympic athletes test positive in Effect noticed at site of cause Tokyo days before Games By GRAHAM DUNBAR today By GRAHAM DUNBAR today TOKYO 202 TOKYO 202 1F-5F 74224 TOKYO (AP) A third athlete at the Olympic TOKYO (AP) - A third athlete at the Olymnic Village in Tokyo has tested positiv for COWLD- Village in Tokyo has tested positive for CO 19, with the Czech Republic tea 19, with the Czech Republic team repo case Monday of a beach volleyball case Monday of a beach volle

Source: AP

Honest Headlines AP AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Top Stories Topics Video Listen Nashville prospect comes out as Twitter deleted from gay in NHL .milestone Nashville prospect's phone By STEPHEN WHYNO 43 minutes ago By STEPHEN WHYNO 43 minutes ago A Nashville Predators prospect has come out as gay, a milestone moment for the sport of hockey as the first player signed to an NHL contract to make that declaration publicly. Luke Prokop said he was proud to say he is gay. The 19-year-old Canadian who was third- round pick in the 2020 draft last fall, posted his announcement to Twitter

Source: AP

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Forgot Password?