Cracked Archive - News
Dolly Parton's 'Jolene' Works As A Stealth Lesbian Love Song
Seriously folks, that Jolene is one fine looking gal.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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27
27 Who Is Responsible For The First Selfie? A Scientific Investigation
Seriously, is it Reese Witherspoon? Some dead guy from the 1800s? My mom?
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 9
Asbestos, Canada Struggles to Find a Name Better Than 'Asbestos'
Intercourse, Pennsylvania has some stiff competition.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 18
The Mods of New Jersey's Official Twitter Account Deserves A Raise
Yes, the northeastern state of New Jersey, lovingly dubbed 'The Armpit of America' has a crackerjack Twitter.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 11
5 Recent News Stories Which Wound Up Having Bizarre Twists
Stories keep evolving, revealing layer after layer of weirdness.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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- 49
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Flights To Nowhere Are Now A Thing Because 2020
All the stress of air travel, without any of the vacation destinations!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 11
The Actual Reason Costco's Hot Dog And Soda Combo Is $1.50
Several billion years from now, a hot dog and a soda will cost $1.50 at Costco.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 25
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Played Fantasy Baseball (And Talked Trash)
Even RBG had her savage moments, especially when it came to fantasy sports.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 16
A Bunny Expert Classifying Rabbits Is Oddly Hypnotic, Wholesome
Sometimes you just gotta watch a calm man talk about the roundness of little bunnies.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 8
'Hype Houses' Are Just Zoomer Communes
I'll take 'Late-Stage Capitalism' for 500, Alex.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 13
Broke Rat-Man Chuck E. Cheese Seeks To Destroy 7 Billion Prize Tickets
That's almost enough for one large stuffed animal!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 17
Taco Bell Now Sells 'Jalapeño Noir' Wine Because Reality Is Melting
There's so much to taco 'bout here, folks.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 16
In 2020, Everybody Working From Home Is 'BBC Dad'
There are two kinds of people in the world --- those who have had a Robert Kelly moment since working remotely, and liars.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 9
The Internet's Current Obsession: Dumb Reasons For Getting Dumped
Jerry Seinfeld walked, so we could run ... out of these questionable relationships.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 17
4 Stages Every Ad Went Through In 2020
The playbook on how to make commercials has gone completely insane.
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
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- 12
