The United States is suffering right now from massive inflation. Oh, and, like, a dozen other things, but inflation is the only one I’m going to go into right now. It’s really just the cherry on top of the Baked Alaska that’s melting in the space where our brains used to be a couple years ago. The newest report shows that prices have jumped 8.5% over the last year, which is the worst inflation in 40 years. Gas prices are absolutely brutal, making me extremely glad to live in a city with solid public transport, at least up until there was a likely terror attack on mine.

One thing that’s started to crop up, I’ve noticed, under the guise of relief, is companies with “inflation specials.” Krispy Kreme is the latest to enter that arena, with a new promotion where the price of a box of a dozen donuts is now tied to the price of a gallon of gasoline. First off, that’s way too cute. Nobody’s gonna be mad about cheap donuts, but I don’t think tying them directly to the price fluctuations that is destroying people’s budgets and bank accounts is nearly as charming as they think it is. It has a weird capitalist dystopian energy like some sort of company offering “$1 off for every 10 thousand dollars of student debt you have!”

Man pulling out empty pockets

Pixabay

IF you show your empty pockets you get 25% off!

It’s no doubt a good deal, with a roughly $4-5 box of donuts being a pretty huge discount, but at the same time it almost reeks of hopelessness. They could basically call it the Financial Stress Binge Eating Special. The whole thing has the same strange, sad conflict of finding a really good deal at a local store’s going out of business sale. It feels like I’m buying a box of donuts that someone foreclosed on.

I suppose any form of economic relief is welcome, though 2280 calories of pure fat and carbohydrates isn’t exactly a household staple that’ll help anyone’s budget. It’s an emotional panacea if anything. Sorry if I can’t get too excited about the fact that band-aids are on sale after everyone basically got stung by one thousand bees.

Top Image: Pixabay/Pixabay

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