Cracked Archive - News

An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World
An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World

There was definitely something in the Bible about this.

15
Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions
Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions

This should be the standard from now on for interviewing all Presidents.

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Those 'Chinese Mystery Seeds' Are Probably Normal Seeds (But Maybe Still Worry)
Those 'Chinese Mystery Seeds' Are Probably Normal Seeds (But Maybe Still Worry)

They could still be a problem, just not for the reason you might think.

10
'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'
'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'

The trailer for Jason 'David Wong' Pargin's newest book has arrived

0
The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone
The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone

The Lincoln Project is the political equivalent of the Vice Principal flipping his chair at an assembly and trying to rap.

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What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?
What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?

Trump's new guy seems to hate the postal service as much as he does.

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We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake
We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake

Guys, your bed shook a little. Chill.

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So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This?
So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This?

Evil in the time of corona.

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35 Days Later, Officers Figure Out The Starbucks Thing Wasn't A Tampon
35 Days Later, Officers Figure Out The Starbucks Thing Wasn't A Tampon

The Starbucks tampon mystery has been solved.

52
Are Billionaire Donations Really Worth Celebrating?
Are Billionaire Donations Really Worth Celebrating?

No one should be in a position to cavalierly give away 30 billion dollars because nobody should have 30 billion dollars.

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5 Ways Crime Is Getting Weird During This
5 Ways Crime Is Getting Weird During This

Everyone's had to make changes right now. Even law breakers.

21
'Umbrella Guy' Smashing Windows At George Floyd Protest Is Allegedly A White Supremacist
'Umbrella Guy' Smashing Windows At George Floyd Protest Is Allegedly A White Supremacist

There are people who pretend to be a part of BLM, but are actually white supremacists. Unfortunately, not all of them can be identified by their umbrellas.

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Uh, Maybe Don't Listen To The Demon Sperm Lady
Uh, Maybe Don't Listen To The Demon Sperm Lady

Before conservative Americans start declaring themselves Immanuelsexuals, they might wanna look into what else she believes.

82
 Enough With Empty Social Media Challenges Already
Enough With Empty Social Media Challenges Already

We've fallen far from the halcyon days of the Ice Bucket Challenge.

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