Cracked Archive - News
So Now Local News Guys Are The 'Enemy Of The People'?
Sticking it to the Man from down the street.
- By Cedric Voets
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- May 15, 2020
Our Brains Can't Handle This Without A Villain
Our movies just didn't prepare us for this.
- By Mark Hill
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- May 15, 2020
The Senate's Two Biggest Trash Boys Could Lose This November
Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham suck. Here's how they could actually lose in November.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 15, 2020
Clarence Thomas Finally Speaks, And It's About 'Lord of the Rings'
One does not simply walk into an oral argument expecting Clarence Thomas to name-drop Frodo Baggins.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 14, 2020
Strange Things That We're Running Out Of
The heart wants what the heart wants.
- By Andrea Meno
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- May 14, 2020
White House Crash Test Dummy: Jared Kushner
Kushner is Trump's human shield, whether either of them realize it or not.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 14, 2020
Voting By Mail Should Be The Norm Come November
There's no reason not to make voting as smooth and safe of a process as possible.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 13, 2020
4 Straight-Up Evil Acts Committed by Companies
Remember: the customer is always the mark.
- By Mike Bedard
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- May 13, 2020
Hey, Don't Be That P.O.S. Wearing A KKK Hood As A Pandemic Mask
Not even coronavirus can stop people being racist asshats.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 13, 2020
Donald Trump Is Scared Of Reporters' Basic Questions
The President treats press briefings like he's caught in a game of 'Silent Hill.'
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 12, 2020
Groups That Are Getting Pummeled Right Now
Hardships hit marginalized communities hardest of all.
- By Andrea Meno
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- May 12, 2020
Rich Jerk Named 'Dick Pusey' Taunts Police Officers As They Die
Who knew a guy named Dick Pusey would be such an asshole?
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 12, 2020
Jerry Stiller Is Gone, But Frank Costanza Remains
It can't be understated how funny this guy was.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 12, 2020
Grubhub's Playing The Long Game Against Dine-In
Grubhub is clearly trying to be the Amazon of take-out.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 11, 2020
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