This story takes place on a fictional planet called the Planet of the Apes, and is about an ape named Zira who has been forced into servitude as a house slave. The Planet of the Apes was a popular film series that took place on this planet (originally set in ancient Rome), which had a lot of similarities with Earth.

In this tale I wanted to explore what would have happened if Zira and her family were enslaved after a failed rebellion instead of being killed by a nuclear strike as they were in the movie. What happens if the apes are forced to live under a new system of slavery that has been imposed on them from without rather than within? How would they respond to it?

The answer I found to these questions is not pretty.

 

... uhhh ... wait, sorry, wrong tab. I mean, uh, enjoy this list of fifteen facts:

Nixon put ketchup on his morning cottage cheese.

Richard Nixon liked ketchup on his cottage cheese. CRACKED.COM A typical day in the Nixon White House started with fresh fruit, wheat germ, coffee, and cottage cheese topped with ketchup. This is probably the worst thing Nixon ever did.

Vice

Stippers are hired for Chinese and Taiwanese funerals.

1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions include a stripper. CRACKED.COM Funeral strippers are often brought in to entice a larger crowd to join the procession in Taiwan and China, but officials are trying to ban the prac- tice.

BBC

Gambling generates more revenue than several other forms of entertainment combined.

Gambling is a $40 billion dollar a year industry in the United States. 4 5 10 23 8 30 LL 9E 13 27 9 34 c LV o CRACKED.COM The revenue that is gener- ated from gambling is more than the revenue that comes from movies, cruise ships, recorded music, theme parks, and spectator sports combined.

PBS

After 35 years of age, the chances of having twins goes up.

A chance of a woman having twins increases after the age of 35. CRACKED.COM About 1 in 27 women will give birth to twins after this age. After 50 the chances of having twins is 1 in 9.

What To Expect

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Rats can fall from five stories and live.

A rat can fall from a five story building without injury. CRACKED.COM It can jump two feet to the top of a garbage can- three feet with a running start. This is the equivalent of a human leaping from the driveway up to the roof of the garage.

Cowleys

Pierce Brosnan was a fire eater.

Pierce Brosnan once worked with the circus as a fire eater. CRACKED COM A teenage Brosnan was taking an acting work- shop but decided to learn the ancient skill of the flame when he saw a group of women with their tops off.

The List

7-11 sells thousands of pots of coffee every single hour.

7-11 sells 10,000 pots of coffee an hour, every hour, every day. 15 10 CE O 12.8 CRACKED.COM It was the first conve- nience store to sell coffee to go, as well as the first to operate 24 hours 7 days a week.

Penn Live

A 2,400 year-old mushroom is growing in Oregon.

There is a giant mushroom in Oregon that is over 2,400 years old and covers 3.4 square miles of land. CRACKED.COM The fungus spreading through the roots of trees now covers 2,200 acres.

ABC

Americans almost always go right when they enter a department store.

90 percent of people who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right. VIVID FLAIR - des GRACKED COM The Invariant Right is the name given to the phe- nomenon of Americans usually sticking to the right of concourses and sidewalks, even when they don't need to.

New Yorker

‘Los Angeles’ has a much longer official name.

Los Angeles' full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula. CRACKED.COM In 1781, a group of 14 fami- lies journeyed more than one-thousand miles across the desert from pres- ent-day northern Mexico and established a farming community in the area.

LA City

A ranch the size of Rhode Island sits in Texas.

The 'King Ranch' in Texas is bigger than the state of Rhode Island. CRACKED.COM The ranch was founded in 1853, and continues to operate today as a di- versified private con- cern that includes agri- business, cattle ranch- ing and tourism.

Ask Men

Forks weren’t widely used in America until after the Civil War.

Americans did not commonly use forks until after the Civil War. CRACKED.COM Until then, people just ate with knives or their fingers. Usually a knife was enough to stab a piece of food and bring it to the mouth.

News Press

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