Cracked Archive - News

Tiger King's Carole Baskin on Loose Big Cat In Texas: Are People Spending Their Stimulus Checks on Tigers?
"Spend your stimmy wisely, all you cool cats and kittens," -- Carole Baskin, probably.
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
Trump's Blog Rollout Met With Mostly Crickets
The readership on his new blog isn't very big-ly, data suggests.
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- By Carly Tennes
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49
Tourist Stranded After Glass Bridge Shatters Around Him
Talk about the Indiana Jones experience ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
Newsmax' Gets Dunked On Hard During Interview About Elon Musk on 'SNL'
He's the hero we need *and* deserve.
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- By Carly Tennes
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23
Nebraska Now Apparently Has a 'Beef Passport' Program
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- By Carly Tennes
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20
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'Shock Site' LiveLeak is Officially No More
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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17
No, You're (Probably) Not Going To Be Crushed By A Rogue Chinese Rocket Falling From The Sky
You'll be fine -- most likely.
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- By Carly Tennes
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18
Four-Year-Old Boy Orders Nearly $3,000 of 'SpongeBob' Popsicles From Mom's Amazon Account
Whoops ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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19
Belgian Farmer Tosses A Stone, Accidentally Moves The France/Belgium Border
whoops ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
Japanese Town Uses Relief Money To Erect Giant Squid Statue
it was an act of squid-pro-quo.
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
Florida's New Law Against Social Media Platforms Banning Politicians Is A Loophole-Filled Dumpster Fire
Plus, how the company behind "the happiest place on Earth" conveniently slipped by with an exemption.
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- By Carly Tennes
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42
4 Dark Realities Of Working In Media In 2021
Long story short: now's not the time to be looking for a job at a small-town newspaper.
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- By Mark Hill
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35
Crocs Are Apparently 2021's Hottest Shoe Trend
Move over Yeezys and Air Force 1s, the year's hottest footwear trend are plastic-y Lightning McQueen clogs.
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- By Carly Tennes
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26
Mmmm, Tide Pods: 10 Safe-To-Eat Alternatives To 'Forbidden Snacks'
Don't down a tide pod like an idiot -- grab a whiskey pod instead.
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- By Carly Tennes
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20
Move Over, Great Emu War: Hummingbirds Single Winged-ly Halt Controversial Construction Project
Remember, birds can and will flock you up.
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- By Carly Tennes
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