Cracked Archive - News
Don't Eat Seasonal 'Cannibal Sandwich' With Raw Ground Beef, Warns Wisconsin Dept. of Health
This should really go without saying ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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39 'TikTok' Monster Rinses Cooked Beef Under Running Water, Emotionally Scarring The Internet
Here's why nearly everyone and their mother had *beef* with this, erm, unique cooking "tip."
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 26
Amateur Codebreakers Crack Zodiac Killer's Message After More Than 50 Years
Better start thinking of a good alibi, Ted Cruz.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 21
Anyone Can Say They're A Black-Owned Restaurant On Uber Eats
Ugh.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 57
5 Rich People That Wealth Made Weird
Sometimes an excess of money gives you a bad case of brain worms.
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- By Alex Hanton
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- 33
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FTC Sues Facebook, Says Social Network Needs to Sell Whatsapp, Instagram
Monopoly -- so much more than a friendship-ruining board game.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 22
The World's Weirdest Pronunciation of 'Microwave' Immortalized In BBC Cooking Video
If you're reading this, you're probably pronouncing
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 24
21 Bafflingly Bizarre Dumb Tough Guy Shirts
Skip the closet and throw these directly in a dumpster.
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- By Mac Faber
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- 230
Communist Cookie Monster Mural Mystery Sparks Ire in Illinois
It's a mural mystery, rife with identity theft, alleged graffiti, and of course, a massive Soviet-inspired Cookie Monster.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 26
Did 'Borat 2' star Rudy Giuliani Fart During A Michigan Voter Fraud Hearing?
It was the toot heard 'round the world.
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- By Carly Tennes
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UFOs May or May Not Exist, President Obama Says
Are we alone? Only Obama knows.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 28
New Monolith Spotted in California, Quickly Destroyed By ET-Dissing Right-Wing Vandals
This is why we can't have nice things.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 43
To Save Lives, Let's Move Christmas To July
#MoveXmasToJuly isn't just about a safer holiday; it's about a better holiday.
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- By Jason Pargin
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- 47
The Obamas To Produce Comedy Series Roasting Trump's Sheer Incompetence
*grabs popcorn*
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 38
Harry Styles Roasts Pundits For Their Pointless Tantrums On Men In Dresses
Revenge is as sweet as a 'Watermelon Sugar High' for the former One Direction singer.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 78
