Cracked Archive - News

So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This?

Evil in the time of corona.


35 Days Later, Officers Figure Out The Starbucks Thing Wasn't A Tampon

The Starbucks tampon mystery has been solved.


Are Billionaire Donations Really Worth Celebrating?

No one should be in a position to cavalierly give away 30 billion dollars because nobody should have 30 billion dollars.


5 Ways Crime Is Getting Weird During This

Everyone's had to make changes right now. Even law breakers.


'Umbrella Guy' Smashing Windows At George Floyd Protest Is Allegedly A White Supremacist

There are people who pretend to be a part of BLM, but are actually white supremacists. Unfortunately, not all of them can be identified by their umbrellas.


Uh, Maybe Don't Listen To The Demon Sperm Lady

Before conservative Americans start declaring themselves Immanuelsexuals, they might wanna look into what else she believes.


Enough With Empty Social Media Challenges Already

We've fallen far from the halcyon days of the Ice Bucket Challenge.


Hey, Let's Ditch Black Friday This Year

It's about time Walmart and Target employees got off on Thanksgiving, but that's not nearly enough.


Local News Is Giving Time To COVID Conspiracy Theorists

And now, some complete bullshit.


Vegan Held A Bus Hostage To ... Promote A Joaquin Phoenix Documentary?

We did it, everyone: We found the worst vegan.


A 'Wacky' MRA Lawsuit Guy Shot A Judge's Family; Maybe We Should Stop Indulging This

Maybe we should start taking them seriously?


Is Sen. Kyrsten Sinema Trolling The GOP With Her Wigs?

This is the tan suit all over again, but on purpose.


5 Eerie Deaths That Have Unsatisfying Official Explanations

Sometimes, conspiracy theories aren't just all lizard people.


The 5 Dumbest Conspiracy Theories (Being Spread Right Now)

QAnon, the dimmest bulbs to have ever taken on the Illuminati, are keeping busy.