Cracked Archive - Celebrities

5 Famous People Who Secretly Had Awesome Second Careers
Somewhere, there's an alternate reality completely different from ours, where the following people went with their first career choice (for better or worse).
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- By Evan V. Symon
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686
7 Physical Mutations That Helped Famous Careers
We bet every one of you reading this has one weird thing about your body you'd change if you could. Not so fast, though -- as a whole bunch of famous people can tell you, a horrible deformity and/or physical mutilation can be the difference between failure and stardom.
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- By Pauli Poisuo
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847
5 Insane Celebrity Conspiracy Theories (That Make Sense)
We try not to be celebrity-obsessed here at Cracked. But some prominent people have permanently changed the culture, and it's worth understanding what made them tick.
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- By Adam Tod Brown, Kristi Harrison, Mohammed Shariff
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1747
4 Reasons Zooey Deschanel Can Stop Pretending She's a Dork
If you're anything like me, you track rising movie starlets through a patented system of chicken bone voodoo and Precog upkeep. It's a good system but sometimes people fall through the cracks. Like when the lil' water baldies began rolling out the name 'Zooey' over and over again, I had to consult other sources to get a reading of what was up.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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2009
How to Act When You Meet a Celebrity [COMIC]
You're probably going to act like an asshole when you meet them. Just go wtih it.
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- By Scott Meyer
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252
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The Active Ingredients in Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen should not be snorted.
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- By Murray Blanc
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125
Why Bill Murray Is The World's Greatest Mythological Figure
Bill Murray has become the urban equivalent of Bigfoot -- a mythical figure who generates sightings anywhere people are too drunk to totally trust their memory. Instead of being half-human, half-ape, Bill Murray exists somewhere between celebrities and the rest of us.
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- By Jack O'Brien
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422
5 Reasons Anyone Could Defeat the CIA in the Bourne Trilogy
You can inject new life into virtually any film or franchise by watching it again, only this time rooting for the bad guys. Really think through the scenario from their angle, and try to break down how they go about taking on the hero. More often than not, you'll find yourself scratching your head, or outright screaming at the screen.
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- By David Christopher Bell
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319
The 5 Most Shocking Celebrity Twitter Feeds
Thanks to Twitter, for the first time in the history of ever, we have a one-way ferry boat ride into the inner thoughts of living celebrities, as they think them.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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533
The 7 Most Random Celebrity Duos Who Hung Out Before Fame
Fame makes a lot of strange bedfellows. Some would prefer you to remember their connections, like Peter Scolari with Tom Hanks. Others would rather you didn't bring it up, like Tom Hanks with Peter Scolari. And there are still others who started out together that you would've never even thought of.
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- By Davidb Marchetti, Philip Moon
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388
How to Deal With Jealousy [COMIC]
Especially if it's warranted.
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- By Scott Meyer
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102
Who Actually Goes to Comic-Con [CHART]
Comic-Con has officially evolved into the Oscars for Hollywood's Hype Machine. Below, a look at who shows up these days, and how they feel about being there ...
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- By Ted E.
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117
The 6 Most Misguided Causes Ever Made Famous by Celebrities
We wouldn't mind if celebrity causes were simply vapid or silly. But sometimes, they're down right evil.
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- By Will Kriegshauser
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2585
7 Celebrities Who Had Badass Careers You Didn't Know About
Several people who found fame later in life started out on a much different path. And if you're not still working at the first job you ever got, thank your lucky stars that you're in the same boat. Unless you operated a boat as your first job. Then, well, yeah. Sorry.
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- By Fitzgerald Smith
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480
The 7 Most WTF Post-Fame Celebrity Careers
Not all celebrities leave the limelight kicking and screaming. Some merely flip fame the bird and pursue new, absolutely random forms of employment.
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- By Fitzgerald Smith
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326