This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Science is letting us down. Sure, we have electric cars, hi-res video games, incredible advancements in the field of medicine, and of course, we've determined the exact number of licks needed to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But despite all these marvels, we're still held back by the simple fact that we can't prevent hangovers.
UNTIL NOW! Blowfish is the hangover cure backed by science and recognized by the FDA, and it's guaranteed to make you feel better. Just put two of these pills in some water and drink once the fizzing stops. Before you know it, your head will be in a better place and your body will be imbued with the raw power of pure scientifically honed sobriety.
Best of all? It tastes like lemon.
Look, we're not saying that Blowfish gives you the right to abuse alcohol. Nothing can undo the epic People's Elbow that a dozen vodka shots give to your liver. But if you overdo it on a Thursday by accident, or need to recover from a bachelorette party, or have a surprise obligation the morning after you paint the town red with your old college buddies, Blowfish will be there for you.
These bags contain 20 doses (40 tablets), and though they normally cost $25, you can get Blowfish For Hangovers in the Cracked Store right now for just $19.99.
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
There is much to show you.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
If there's any institution that doesn't want us to know how much it messes up, it's the military.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.