This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Kangaroos have the right idea -- a big ol' bag right there on their belly, just begging to be stuffed full of whatever they need to carry around that day.* We crummy humans don't have pouches (or at least, none that can fit our laptop and important work papers), so we have to carry around external pouches, like the ones on sale here.
*Note that we learned everything we know about kangaroos from cartoons and cereal boxes.
If you never have trouble organizing your luggage, then HA! We knew you'd reveal yourself eventually, WITCH! As for us mortals, we understand that even the most meticulously packed bag will transform into a limp cyclone of wrinkly shirts and unpleated pantaloons. But if you use the Oregami FIT 2.0, which divides your luggage into compartments and keeps them separate through your entire flight / train ride / road trip / shuttle launch, then you might be able to take your place amongst the magical. It also fits most brands of compact carry-on luggage.
Normally $79.99, you can buy the Oregami FIT 2.0 in the Cracked Shop right now for just $49.99.
This sturdy and light (just 6.2 lbs!) spinner is helpfully organized with separate interior compartments. It even includes an isolated laundry section, so you can be sure your fresh-pressed date shirt won't smell like liquor and feet. Also be sure to show off the spinny wheels to your date. They'll like that.
Normally $199, you can get your Genius Pack Aerial Harside Carry On Spinner in the Cracked Shop for just $178.99.
Laundry Compression Technology is the top-secret innovation (don't tell anyone) behind this bag's incredible ability to keep your clothes condensed into a minimal amount of space. Could this technology be used to change our understanding of matter as we know it? Possibly, but for now, we use it to separate the fresh from the filthy. There's even a helpful embedded checklist so you never forget your toothbrush or spare socks.
Normally $298, you can get the Genius Pack G3 Carry-On Spinner in the Cracked Shop right now for just $189.
Impress the townsfolk with the luggage of a king. This suitcase contains laundry separators, air valve luggage compressors, an integrated checklist, and luxurious polyurethane-coated fabric. This is the kind of bag owned by someone who buys and sells private islands while getting drunk with Tony Stark.
Normally $298, you can get yours in the Cracked Shop for just $179.
Your day begins and ends with a commute, meaning all your stuff is at its most vulnerable when you're either A) bleary-eyed and under-caffeinated, or B) exhausted and over-caffeinated. That's why you need to try option C): Keeping your valuables safe in this commuter bag, which is wrapped in water-resistant nylon and full of nifty features like padded laptop pockets and a hard shell sunglasses case.
Normally $239.99, you can buy the Urban 21 Commuter Bag in the Cracked Shop for just $185.
This collection of bags isn't just a luggage set. It's an entire packing philosophy. If you follow the instructions and put your stuff in the designated compartments, you can save up to 60% more space and avoid overweight fees, all while keeping your shoes, electronics, cosmetics and clothes safe and isolated from each other. Take that, Descartes. Normally $159.99, you can get the Vasco Seven-Piece Smart Packing Cube Set in the Cracked Shop for just $99.
Ya packed? Now what? Hit The Open Road With This Travel eBook Bundle.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.