a performer who forgets to renew his website domain
, films music videos on VHS
, and has plainly been editing his own Wikipedia entry: Raz has future plans to release his autobiography. Additionally, projects on the immediate horizon include television, film properties, charity ventures and several international ventures.
This is someone who thinks the number "2000" makes a Twitter handle cutting edge. The man crowdsources his choreography for pete's sake
, and say what you will about Chris Brown, the little shit can dance. By all measures, he should have just ignored the whole sad attempt, even though Raz was right that only stupid women deserve to get hit. Wait--what? NO!
Raz B sans glasses
A laugh is a low-pressure scream
Because he's a self-centered bully. This is a classic "remind Chris Brown that he hits women" play with a snazzy bid for attention stirred in. So what makes Chris Brown a pariah while the
woman-smashing members of N.W.A.
are now beloved Saturday morning cartoon characters? Well, it's complicated, but mostly because he made the mistake of beating a woman we all know and want to have sex with. The only natural antidote would be someone nobody knows or cares about calling him a brute. Sure, it's a private matter, and the victim seems to have forgiven him, but when even Raz B is unafraid to steal status from you, you need to ask whether you just don't get how the world works.
#3) Andy Levy
is the second member of the Perpetual Chris Brown Taunters Club. He's sort of a "death by a thousand cuts" troller whose regular gig is an ombudsman slot on Red Eye
--a show I haven't seen because I don't watch Fox News, even though I'm poor, white, and angry. All I know is he was on Veronica Mars
, so I'm willing to hear his argument, which sticks to its core point: Chris Brown hits things--usually soft, curvy things. No matter what the singer tweets, Levy is there to craft its fearful symmetry. This has led him to duel with the man he so frequently paints as a frightening whirlwind of punchery. Here's a typical Levy burn:
I thought the hardest part about Chris Brown was his fists
After one of his milder Brown tweets provoked the singer's terrifying ire, Levy suffered the wrath of Team Breezy and the two counterarguments they devised ("U r gay n old").
That didn't stop Levy from poking fun at him some more. And some more. And Brown just. Keeps. Falling for it:
Gentlemen, please! Let's shake hands and agree that you're BOTH part of the problem
Making people fear things that will never affect them is about the only way Fox qualifies as a news channel, but Chris Brown's actions have broken the seventh seal to the scariest revelation of all: that Fox isn't always wrong.
Because he's making me side with Fox News, a network that does to journalism what Chris Brown did to Rihanna. Breezy, you just don't get how badly that hurts me. I mean--not as much as it hurt your girlfriend to take blows to the face and hear she'd get worse at home, but still.