Mississippi has been using abstinence education in an attempt to disprove evolution by forcing it to run backward. At the 2009 "Abstinence Works: Let's Talk About It" meeting, their main strategy to prevent hot teenage boning was a jingle. Five thousand teens were lined up and encouraged to rap "Stop, don't touch me there! You know this is my no-no square!" It's a rap written by someone so old, they only remember sex as "like wetting the bed, but you need two people."
When you won't even refer to genitals without infant talk like "no-no square," you may be ill-equipped in a battle against boning. There are aliens with a better understanding of hu-man mating ports because they found the Pioneer plaque and know "triangle" would be better.
Though they've gotten the odd idea that Earth men are friendly and have crotch loops.
If you're wondering if this stupid song came with a way to act out the lyrics, you already know the answer, because you used the word "stupid." Teens danced around drawing an invisible square box around their crotches with their fingers. Because if anything will avoid sex, it's dancing together while pawing at your own crotch. Did we mention the event had the rap sung by cheerleaders?
Because those are a great way to stop teens from thinking about sex.
Those teens aren't prancing along because you've overridden the fundamental drive of all life-forms. They're obeying because it genuinely isn't their problem yet. When hormones hit their brain like a battering ram made of a firing Saturn V booster, your precious little jingle will work like a toilet-roll umbrella: Those kids will be defenseless, soaking wet and covered in stringy white material. You're sending them into a battle against their own bodies unarmed, and they only think it's a battle because you told them so.
Recommending that teenagers shouldn't have sex until they know what the hell they're doing is a great idea. Refusing to teach them about the cheap, widely available products that can prevent them from ruining their lives when they do something hormonally stupid -- which is a teenager's entire biological function -- is generational manslaughter.
Luke also explains How Whiskey Is Pure Wisdom and the greatest Bond video game ever made. He has a website, tumbles and responds to every single tweet.
For more sexual madness, check out The 7 Most Terrifying Sex Toys Ever Patented and 15 Real Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares. Both of which work better as abstinence education than any of the above.