QuantumMAN(TM) claims that a quantum link between your phone and their secret extra-terrestrial technology will instantly cure you. Of anything. They promise to block toxins, reverse allergies, vaccinate you, anything you like, because when your entire product is "writing the ad copy" and "waiting for somebody stupid enough," you can promise whatever you want. A phone couldn't do all this if it was connected to the Starship Enterprise.
Paramount
Flip phones were old in the 1960s, the 1990s, and the 2360s.
Looking at the QuantumMAN site, the aliens clearly crashed their technology into mid-'90s HTML, and neither survived the experience. Buying one-use Portal Access Keys (TM) connects your smartphone to their healing quantum teleportation portal and invalidates its adjective. I've played iPhone games with more believable premises. It's the only Internet scam with a target market of zero, because they need someone stupid enough to fall for this bullshit but still capable of entering their money-card's weird squiggles on the squeezy bits of their beepbox.
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