Strings of Consecutive Numbers or Letters
From this point on, we've left behind those who mistakenly choose bad passwords, and now we enter the realm of people who just don't give a shit. This is Voyager leaving the solar system, looking back on everything we exist to maintain and silently giving it the finger.
Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it ... dipshits.
These are passwords such as "qwerty," "12345," "abc123," "abcdef," "696969" ... you know, basically the password to every hacked computer in existence. The one every assistant manager uses because "computers are stupid." Passwords so simple, your cat could accidentally log you in by stepping on your keyboard. And if you think it's only a small group that does it, think again. We're talking a minimum of 21 million people. That's more people than the entire state of New York.
Unless you have some sort of disability where you can only remember the last thing you read, there's no valid reason to use this as your password. It is the equivalent of leaving your password blank. It's one step above just leaving your computer sitting unattended on a busy city sidewalk. Except instead of just yours, there would be 26.5 million of them, each with its own revolving neon sign flashing the words "PLEASE SHIT INSIDE ME -- I HUNGER FOR YOUR SHIT."
Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Except if it's got Windows 8, in which case it's already full.
Look, I couldn't care less what happens to your information or what hackers do with it. All I'm asking is that you don't just open the door for them and invite them inside. At least make them work for it. Now go change your passwords before private pictures of your baby maker end up in some random porn ad.
For more fun word facts (such as the real origin of "fuck") and poop jokes and stuff, check out The Book of Word Records, available now at Amazon and Barnes & Noble! For other writing from Asher Cantrell, check out Weird Shit Blog.