Summer Cleaning Doesn't Have To Suck (But These Vacuums Do)

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

It's a question we've all asked ourselves: "Should I continue to vacuum my floors by hand, or should I live the dream of my ancestors and invest in a tiny robot that will clean my floors whenever I demand?" There are pros and cons to both. On the one hand, a robot vacuum meshes well with your lifestyle of never wanting to clean or do anything. On the other hand, what if the robot vacuum becomes sentient? What if it sucks off YOUR FACE? Such decisions are the burden of the human condition, but luckily, these four vacuum cleaners will help ease your weary mind.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Dyson V6 Bagless Cordless Handheld Vacuum With HEPA Filter

Summer Cleaning Doesn't Have To Suck (But These Vacuums Do)

Consider this one point for Team Un-Automated. The Dyson V6 Bagless Cordless Handheld Vacuum does what no lightweight vacuuming disc is capable of: getting all of the cat hair out of that one weird corner at the top of your staircase. It's also wireless and has no messy bag to fuss with. You simply press a button on the vacuum, and all the dirt and fossilized snack particles are dumped right into the garbage. Plus, the HEPA filter traps dust, dander, and pollen, preventing those allergens from getting back into the air. This is the show pony of handheld vacuums, and right now you can get it for $179.99, a 10 percent discount, and in our opinion worthy of blue ribbons all around.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

ECOVACS DEEOT Slim2 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Summer Cleaning Doesn't Have To Suck (But These Vacuums Do)

The ECOVACS Deebot gets rid of clutter quicker than Thanos. It holds a two-hour charge, it can navigate stairs and other room obstacles safely, and it can even mop, which is something most of us will only do under threat of death. You can schedule the Deebot to do daily or weekly cleanings, and if you suddenly find out you're going to have unexpected guests, you can command it to start cleaning using a smartphone app from anywhere outside your home. (Possibly even from space, for all of you type-A astronauts out there.) You can get the Deebot now for $140 (29 percent off its regular price) by clicking the bejeebus out of this link.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Kalorik 2-In-1 Cordless Cyclonic Vacuum

Summer Cleaning Doesn't Have To Suck (But These Vacuums Do)

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Let's say you want the freedom of not being tied to an outlet, but still prefer to have hands-on control of your cleaning experience. Well you're in luck, buckaroo, because the Kalorik 2-in-1 Cordless Cyclonic Vacuum is currently on sale for $149.99, a 31 percent discount. When you're ready to clean (i.e. mom announced she's stopping by in an hour), simply remove the vacuum from its charging base and get down to business with its multiple brush attachments which accommodate to any floor type. The vacuum can be adjusted for handheld cleaning or floor cleaning, so you can retire your fading old Dustbuster to that dustbin in the sky.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

ECOVACS Deebot Robot Vacuum Cleaner And Canister Vacuum Station

Summer Cleaning Doesn't Have To Suck (But These Vacuums Do)

OK, let's say you're digging everything you're hearing about the Deebot Slim2, but you're looking for just a little more oomph. You want the Terminator 2 of automated vacuum cleaners, and you're willing to pay a little extra to make that happen. If that's the case, then ECOVACS Deebot Robot Vacuum Cleaner And Canister Vacuum Station is what your dirty floors have been waiting for. Deebot uses onboard SMART NAVI technology to scan your home and determine the most efficient cleaning path, just like a goshdarn Terminator would. You can control and monitor its progress via your smartphone, which includes voice reporting of the Deebot's progress. The Deebot will even empty itself of dirt in its charging station, which comes with a detachable handheld vacuum to help get tight corners and upholstery that this particle destroyer can't reach. Basically, the Deebot will make up for every bad roommate you've ever had, and you can get one right now for $549, 31 percent off its normal price.

Hey. Your car could use some love too. Give it a fresh start with the AIR Ionic Car Air Purifier And Charger. And make sure you're never without your keys with the help of the Nut Find 3 Smart Tracker.

Whether you're a homebody or a wanderer, The Cracked Store Has You Covered At Home Or On The Road.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

14 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 Random People Who Stumbled Across Huge, Terrifying Secrets

Whose job is it to solve crimes?

66

The 16 Worst Band T-Shirts (Are All From Kid Rock's Store)

There is much to show you.

202

5 Movie Heroes Who'd Actually Just Wind Up In Jail

The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.

73

5 Baffling Reasons Beloved TV Shows Were Canceled

Sometimes shows get canceled for really weird reasons.

111

5 Ridiculous Ways Famous Fugitives Hid In Plain Sight

The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.

51

5 Cynical Reasons Everyday Foods Became Popular

A whole bunch of shenanigans and tragedies have shaped what's popular.

133