Mark: Did they then mail you a bowl of borscht?
Pauli: And a CD of 101 Somber Military Marches. Should I be reevaluating my entire political outlook?
Mark: Don't worry; you're not alone on what America considers the far left. You know who would also hover around center right in Europe? Bernie Sanders.
Pauli: Seriously? Every other word I read about the guy is "socialist." From where I'm standing, which is geographically adjacent to a certain vodka-loving country that used to be the world's leading socialist state, center right is ... very much not that.
Sanders wouldn't change America's flag to this, despite what you might have heard.
Mark: Except in America. They're slowly moving left in the wake of Obama, but they still lean more to the right than most people think. If a European-style socialist party ever gained traction there, Fox News hosts would start melting like they had opened the Ark of the Covenant.
Pauli: America hasn't even had a proper left wing in ages, just two parties that look almost identical to foreigners. That just seems so weird. I don't think they quite realize how conservative they look to us. From an American point of view, I'm apparently just a red shirt away from my computer turning into a bald eagle and screeching Lenin-based insults at me. And your country has a liberal male model for a prime minister. That's the mental toolkit we're equipped with when we try to understand Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.