This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
You might really like your job, but the odds are pretty good that you don't totally love it. Maybe the pay is great, but the benefits are terrible. Maybe the pay is terrible and the benefits are a monthly raffle for Steak n Shake coupons. Maybe you accidentally sat in jam on your first day, and now everyone at the office has been calling you "jam butt" for the past two years. Whatever the reason, Jam Butt, you're now looking for something better.
And you're in luck, because you can get started on a lucrative new career as an IT professional with the help of these training bundles! Mastering any one of them will make you an in-demand IT pro, while mastering all of them will probably grant you the ability to see through time.
The Complete Cisco Network Certification Training Bundle contains over 150 hours of training content and 105 lectures designed to make you a certified expert in network design and security. The bundle consists of nine specialized modules, including basic LAN implementation, CCNP certification, secure network design, IP routing, cloud-based and wide area networking, and every aspect of network security there is short of "What happens if someone plugs themselves into the Matrix?" This is the perfect way to start off your new career, and you can get a year of access to the entire bundle for $59. To give you an idea of how totally insane a discount this is, the normal price of the Complete Cisco Network bundle is $801 (a 92 percent discount). If you pass this up, you deserve your jammy fate.
A career in IT needs a CompTIA certification like a smart owl needs glasses. It's basically essential, and with the Complete CompTIA Certification Training Bundle, you can become an accredited professional in virtually every area of network maintenance and security. This bundle gives you lifetime access to 12 courses and nearly 2,000 lessons covering nearly every certification CompTIA offers, including A+, Cloud+, Linux+, Security+, Network+, and CSA+, all for the mind-numbing price of $59. That's over $4,000 worth of training you can scoop up now at a baffling discount of 98 percent, and for that, you gain unlimited access to any module in the bundle, at any time, for the rest of your life.
More and more companies and services are making the move to cloud computing, because much like when your cousin sold his entire DVD collection in favor of streaming subscriptions, physical media and storage have become obsolete. Why stack your shelves with discs and hard drives when you can just store it all in the cloud and free up shelf space for more action figures? Gaining an expertise in cloud computing is a great asset for a career in IT, and the Amazon Web Services Certification Training Bundle is the perfect place to start. Amazon Web Services (AWS) are used by hundreds of thousands of businesses around the world, and with this bundle, you'll learn how to create, integrate, and maintain AWS cloud-based networks, and how to keep them secure. This bundle normally sells for $1,299, but you can get it for $69 (nice), meaning you can start your cloud training now at a 94 percent discount.
Microsoft's SQL database server is one of the most popularly used data management systems in the professional sector, so what better way to embark on your new career as a hotshot IT gunslinger than to learn all the ins and outs of SQL? For just $19 -- less money than it costs to buy Hellboy II on Blu-ray -- you can get lifetime access to the MCSA SQL Server Certification Training Bundle. The bundle contains 53 hours of instruction on installing and administering SQL Server and Azure databases and how to prepare for the Microsoft Certification Exam, which proves to the world (and all potential employers) that you know how to run an SQL database. And eventually, you'll make so much money that you'll never be forced to choose between your career and buying Hellboy II ever again.
Let's say you don't want to be the typical IT professional. Let's say you want to be more of a rogue, offering your hacking skills to spot vulnerabilities in different secure networks and web apps. Let's say you want to live like you're in the film Hackers. Well, with the Super-Sized Ethical Hacking Bundle, you can do just that. This bundle offers 78 hours of training on how to build your own secure network and become a certified pentester (penetration tester, not someone who tests pens). After nine courses, you'll learn how to earn money by legally hacking into major companies such as Google, Facebook, and PayPal to identify bugs and vulnerabilities. You'll even prepare to earn your CompTIA Security+ certification, so your potential employers know you're an honest-to-Jolie hacker and not just some random dummy on the internet. For a mere $49, you gain lifetime access to $1,080 worth of ethical hacking training. That's a 96 percent discount on learning how to do the coolest job in the world, short of fighting space pirates on the moon.
When you graduated from Weaver Hall you probably weren't expecting all the long nights and humiliating coffee runs that aren't even in your job description. Become your own boss and Only Zuul will be able to tell you what to do. But that guy's cool.
Make sure you keep movin' on up with the 10 Things You Can Learn To Escape 9-To-5 Hell For Good.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.