- Pay a shady doctor $3,000 to replace your left arm with a flamethrower.
- Put 3,000 boxes of Jello powder into your pool. Or, your neighbor's pool.
- Pay MMA fighter Randy Couture to pick a fight with you in front of your girlfriend at a bar, then let you throw him through a plate glass window.
- Bribe the grizzly bear handlers at the zoo to shoot the animal full of sedatives, at which point you "accidentally" fall into its pen. Let the local news cameras show up just in time to capture you wrestling the bear into submission on live TV.
- Buy a cell phone jammer. You know, for when you go to the movies.
- Rent a chimpanzee and a set of little surgical scrubs for it to wear. Splatter some blood on him and chase him through a waiting room full of weeping families.
- Pay for six months of sessions with a therapist, and tell him you're having paranoid fantasies. Then, just as you're having your breakthrough, hire six guys in dark suits to burst into the office, throw you screaming into a black van and speed away.
- Pay a woman to have sex with you.
You know, I just realized that every single one of those is illegal in most states. So, maybe that's the attraction for the high end gamers, that it's the most fun they can have
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