"Society says I must conform to their standards of beauty, but what is more beautiful than my unbridled soul, bare and wild?"
Body shaming your dog is a great way to unleash your insecurities onto a creature that can't block you on Twitter. This "pet wig" will help plant the seed of doubt in your dog's mind: Am I loved for who I am? The answer is, of course, no. Your dog is your accessory/slave, and if you want your dog to be model hot with plump lips and flowing Garnier locks, you make it so. You are a god.
"I do not wish to take part in this vulgar display of cultural appropriation. I wish to be naked. To run through the forest, my soul as clear as a sky, untouched by man's corruption."
What's better than subjugating your dog? Forcing your dog to take part in cultural insensitivity. Rewrite its identity to be a faithful soldier in your war against "PC culture." Tell it offensive jokes, and when it tries to escape your grasp, tell it that humor is subjective and you should be able to make fun of anything. Parade it around at parties, and if anyone objects, claim it was all the dog's idea. It'll look up at you, jaunty little cap secured in place by a chinstrap, knowing it cannot speak to clear its name.