"I am a boat adrift in a sea of my owner's whims. Am I a bunny, or the gossamer-thin shell of the wolf I once was?"
Take note of the dog's eyes in this product photo of "Bunny Hoodie for Pet." Stygian pits of despair, on top of which rests a brow tensed with the unanswered question "Why?" We don't get a back view of this costume, but it can only reveal one of two things: the bunny tail sits mockingly atop the dog's real tail, or its tail is tucked into the bunny hoodie like Buffalo Bill under duress. In addition to the humiliation, this costume deprives your dog of its God-given right to poop.
"Society says I must conform to their standards of beauty, but what is more beautiful than my unbridled soul, bare and wild?"
Body shaming your dog is a great way to unleash your insecurities onto a creature that can't block you on Twitter. This "pet wig" will help plant the seed of doubt in your dog's mind: Am I loved for who I am? The answer is, of course, no. Your dog is your accessory/slave, and if you want your dog to be model hot with plump lips and flowing Garnier locks, you make it so. You are a god.