This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Playing high-stakes card games always looks pretty cool. Sadly, very few people are willing to delve into the dangerous world of underground gin rummy tournaments, so poker it is. And no matter how talented you are initially, you can always become a better player with a little bit of work. The Poker Pro Bundle is potentially the cheapest way to go about it, and while it's usually $135, you can enroll in the beginner course for whatever price you want. Beat the average price (which as of this writing is only $12), and you'll get all five courses.
If your New Year's resolution is to confidently say "All in" while chomping on a cigar in a hazy after-hours bar, these courses are just what the doctor ordered.
Here's what you'll get:
Conquer Micro Stakes Online Poker
This first course will introduce you to no limit hold'em online poker, so you can start conquering the micro stakes (which it turns out aren't tiny pieces of beef, but rather what they call the lowest rung of the prize ladder). You'll start here to sharpen your skills. And who knows? Eventually, you could be playing on TV in that coveted time slot right before football comes on.
The Complete Micro Stakes Online Poker Mastery Guide
It turns out that bluffing is a little more than just lying brazenly while wearing sunglasses. In this course, you'll explore skills like poker math to make sure that when you bluff, it sticks. You'll also learn how to identify and attack other players' weaknesses, because poker has more in common with RPGs than you might think.
Essential Poker Math for No Limit Hold'em
Up until this point, you'll probably be throwing down a lot of random cards and trying to look confident while doing it. Here's where you actually learn how to play with nuance and strategy. It turns out knowing a few mathematical concepts can give you a significant edge on the competition. But don't worry, it's OK if the only thing you remember from AP stats is how to sleep through class by drawing pupils on your eyelids. This course will give you a refresher so you can understand the odds and how to possibly beat them.
Fundamentals Of Exploitative Online Poker
There are two secrets to poker. The first is an elaborate mirror system that allows you to see everyone's hands. But assuming you don't have time to set that up, you'll need to learn how to read your opponents based on strategy. This course will teach you how to read and exploit your opponents' weaknesses, as well as how to select a table and seat, and what types of strategies work universally.
The Poker Blueprint: Learn To Play Good Poker
Like Hannibal Lecter or contestants on The Bachelor, good poker players are masters of psychological manipulation. This course will teach you how to avoid rookie mistakes and keep your emotions in check during a game. You'll also learn which ineffective strategies to avoid, so you can start thinking like a real poker player who doesn't get sideways glances from security guards at casinos.
For more ways to contain all your poker winnings, check out Get Some Bang For Your Bucks With These 5 Stylish Wallets.
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
There is much to show you.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
If there's any institution that doesn't want us to know how much it messes up, it's the military.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.