Often, when TV series are adapted from movies, they're simply brand names slapped on the side of something that's vaguely related to the same genre. The Friday The 13th movies are about a giant deformed camper and his itchy ax finger, but the Friday The 13th TV show is about a haunted antique store. And now they're trying to make a Friday The 13th series that actually includes Jason for the CW. This a double-edged machete.
If you don't include Jason all the goddamn time, it's just Spooky Forest Makeouts, Feat. Jason. If you include Jason all the goddamn time, you realize why the Friday The 13th movies are all about 90 minutes long. So every episode is a shortened Friday The 13th movie, which will get old by about week three because we've already seen 12 full-length ones. That or you get a show always coyly hinting that Jason might be just around the corner. It wouldn't be any different from any other show that was about a famous character, but also totally not about them. It's Gotham for Jason. It's 45-minute installments of a story in which people talk about subjects that would include Jason in the "Related" section of their Wikipedia articles.
Paramount Pictures"You ever hear about that kid who drowned in the lake? That was weird. Anyway, back to not that at all."
Also being developed at the network that brought you The Vampire Diaries and season 12 of Supernatural is an adaptation of The Lost Boys. This show would take us, decade by decade, through the vampires' lives, and really make us understand what it's like to live forever. But isn't that something that good vampire movies do in way less time? Let The Right One In, the original The Lost Boys, Nosferatu The Vampyre, even Blade 2 didn't need to drag us around with these guys for years to make us feel for them. It's as if execs think the only way for us to sympathize with the agony of being immortal is to subject us to hundreds of hours of drawn-out plots until we beg for the sweet merciful release of our own mortality. And if you think it takes multiple years to get people invested in something, I feel terrible for everyone who starved to death because they accidentally asked you to tell them a little bit about yourself.
Paramount PicturesJust hope no one gets the TV rights for seven seasons of this.