As you're well aware, Cyber Monday has a rich, detailed history, going all the way back to the dark ages of 2005. That's too long ago to remember how exactly this holiday started, but we know Apple products are a revered symbol in its celebration. The iFlask honors this symbol, and is ideal for topping off everyone's drinks at your local Cyber Monday Festival. Like the iPhone it's modeled after, the iFlask has zero phone call functionality, but it's stainless steel frame means that it'll last you much, much longer than any Apple product could hope to.
You may be tempted to use the Surviv-All Outdoor Knife for preparing the traditional Cyber Monday feast of leftover yams and wilted salad. However, this knife is really much better suited for setting up the customary Cyber Monday stakeout tent which we sleep in to honor our ancestors in the "The Great Black Friday Stakeouts" of yesteryear. Between the 440 stainless steel blade, the knife sharpener, the fire starter, and the comfort-fit rubber handle, there's no Cyber Monday dilemma this baby can't handle.