This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
For the most part, we thought the future was gonna look like Cloud City from The Empire Strikes Back. And we were ... sort of right. It's actually ended up looking a lot like Lobot. That guy didn't have to run around with wired headphones that would get tangled if he tried to do chores or work out or anything more complicated than sitting. And neither should you. So, in celebration of what is arguably technology's most valuable achievement, here are some of the best wireless audio deals from the Cracked Store on sale today:
For those who enjoy some ear cushion for their sub-woofin, consider the Paww WaveSound 3 Noise-Cancelling Bluetooth Headphones. These headphones are elegant in design, offer premium sound quality, and utilize active noise cancellation, meaning the only distractions you'll hear at work while wearing them are the voices inside your own head. The best part is they're so comfy that you'll never want to take them off, like you're some kind of Black Mirror character.
Normally $149.99, you can snag these for $79.99 in the shop, a 46 percent discount.
There are two things that can ruin any house party:
2) Bad sound. It's always a pain to have to settle with "I guess we'll just turn the speakers on my laptop all the way up."
So to avoid half of these issues, you can pick up this powerful wireless 2.1 speaker system. These puppies are particularly suitable for bass drops because they deliver a natural, deep bass, and the HDAA wood prevents any sound leakage. And don't worry about spilled red solo cups, as the mesh speaker covers will protect your sound system from all beverage assaults.
Normally about $300, get this central subwoofer and two satellite speakers all for just $145.
Lovers of music and nature alike should listen up. The FX100 is water-resistant, shock-proof, dust-proof, and pretty much more durable than any speaker has a right to be. If the FX100 were a person, it'd be Ron Swanson swinging a battle ax. A single charge delivers 30 hours of listening, so it'll amp you up during those long hikes when the sounds of the wilderness just aren't gnarly enough. It even has a carabiner, because of course it does.
Even if you have the tech know-how of a particularly early cave person, you still shouldn't let Bluetooth scare you, Cronk. The Cresuer Touchwave Wireless Earbuds pack together noise cancellation, excellent sound technology, and a minimalist design so easy to use that even those amazed by fire can handle it. They even come with a wireless charging case, giving you up to 12 hours of use, or a good 200 consecutive listens to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire." (Which, sticking with the cave person metaphor, has to be their favorite song, right?)
Normally about $100, you can grab these now for $40, which is an insane steal.
Much like how X2 will always be the best X-Men movie (nice try, Logan), the X2 headphones will always be the best when it comes to Bluetooth sound quality. First off, they're crafted from beryllium, which is an element found in the core of stars. We'll repeat, these headphones are made from star parts! (And yes, beryllium is naturally occurring on Earth, but still!) They also deliver superior 3D sound quality, and come with noise cancellation so that you can tune out anyone trying to argue star facts or X-Men movies with you.
And keep expressing your inner Party Rock Animal with Headphones for the Post-Election Apocalypse.
Movies are never more unrealistic than when they're showing us exactly what a dollar can buy.
I don't usually go in for conspiracy theories.