If you're a pet lover this may be a tough pill to swallow. After all, very few of us ever think if that cat pees on my shoe tree again, I'm totally going to mummify him and that's probably 70 percent due to the lack of general mummification knowledge that pervades modern society.
Still, on more than one episode of Hoarders, a household all decked out in cats has had a crew come in to clean up and lo and behold there's a veritable cornucopia of decrepit, dusty cat mummies lurking about. And by lurking I mean remaining quite stationary and desiccated. This is what compelling TV is made of.
Like this, only more god awful in ever conceivable way
Have you ever left a cheese sandwich sitting in the fridge for like a week? And it starts to smell vaguely of old-man-at-the-gym groin in a way that makes you grimace every time you open the fridge? Now imagine instead of a cheese sandwich is a dead beast and it's not kept at 38 F, it's rotting under your futon. That's the level of commitment you need to be on Hoarders. You could just leave 1000 boxes of s**t all over your house, but really, is that going to make the same kind of impression in anyone's mind that neglecting an animal until it not only dies but is thoroughly sapped of moisture while it remains in your living area will? No. You need a mummified cat.