This 1974 Salem cigarette ad is the advertorial equivalent of finding a cigarette butt in used toilet water, then scooping it out, and eating it. There's no scenario where those actions make sense, yet here we are, looking at a raggedy man with a grey tooth sucking on a wet cigarette while sporting a grin that demands restraining orders, no questions asked. One look at that face and you know this dude is naked. His denim cutoffs were tossed next to the cooler full of Lone Star and the dead hitchhiker he hasn't bothered with disposing of yet.
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Picture this guy, but like, super dead.
Unless Chester the Menthol Molester just stepped into a sinkhole that he was delighted to discover, there's no way he got neck-deep in a body of water with a lit cigarette without some help. We, the viewers of this eye-attack, are forced to consider the following equally awful options:
A. This man lit his cigarette, then immediately knelt in a pond and laughed.
B. This man swam to the middle of a lake, then bummed a cigarette from boaters, who also lit it for him. He laughed at them for playing his game.
C. This man was having the time of his life when he was decapitated, and this was how his head landed on the water.
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