Probably the worst thing about hating something popular is that it's popular, therefore most people you know will probably like it, therefore you're going to have to see it, or hear about it.
When I was in college, I had three awesome roommates. The only problem was that they liked Friends and ER, and went downstairs to a friend's apartment every week to watch (we didn't have a TV). I was an awkward person with a strong fear of being left out (FOBLO?) and made myself go with them a few times, but eventually I couldn't stand it anymore, and stayed upstairs and developed a terrible Internet gaming addiction instead.
The lesson here is that hating popular things forces you to choose between gritting your teeth and watching them with your friends or becoming isolated from your friends and creating an unhealthy online persona that you can't let go of for years. No, there's no middle ground.
Sure, you can choose your friends carefully, but you'll never find someone who likes everything you like. One day your best, most trusted friend in the whole world will come to you and say, "Oh my God, Frozen was amazing, come see it again with me," and it will be like your whole world is crashing down around you. Up is down. Black is white. Everything you thought was solid was only a dream. You're like Keanu Reeves having his eyes opened to reality in that terrible movie. Bram Stoker's Dracula.
"Whoa, he's a vampire."
But you know what? That's friendship. You just suck it up and go. Because some things in life are more important than avoiding crappy movies. It's a sacrifice you have to make, like when a single mom works two jobs to raise her kids and give them a better chance at life than she ever got, except more noble.
Anyway, when I first started writing this column, I was pretty charged up about making sure everyone knew what a crushing yet overlooked burden it was to be a person who hated popular things, but after having written all this, I suddenly feel like it's not as big a deal as I thought it was, and that there might be greater injustices elsewhere. Couldn't put my finger on any specific ones, just a weird feeling they're somewhere out there.
Well, if you can't name something, it might as well not exist, I always say. Write your congressperson about making laws to protect people who don't like popular things.
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For more from Christina, check out 5 Weird Things That Apparently Make You Cool Now and 6 Things People Get Way Too Worked Up About.
Now available everywhere: Cracked columnist Winston Rowntree's 'Finding Jesus,' the essential new book for people who already know where Waldo is.
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