Though, this comes with a warning, and it is the final, perhaps most important rule for buying video games nowadays ...
Fight The Urge To Buy Every Cheap Game In Sight
Digitally purchased games have become the modern-day equivalent of books. I mean that in the most negative way possible. For a lot of people, bookshelves are the place aspirations go to die a slow, dusty death. People buy books knowing damn well they've got stacks of them at home or on their Kindles that they have yet to open. Bookshelves, real or digital, are monuments to all the times people say, "I'll get to that one day."
Digital video game purchases bring out the same behavior in people. Oh, is that pretentious puzzle game that I heard was mediocre on sale for $1.50? Add To Cart. Hey, is that generic space marine first-person shooter on sale for $5? Add To Cart. Whoa. Is that game where you just kind of walk around for a bit and then you die and then supposedly learn something meaningful about life or some such horseshit on sale for whatever loose change I can find beneath my driver seat? ADD TO FUCKING CART! Buying has become too easy, and that has created a whole new problem that stems from something great.
Video games are usually an excellent investment. Not in terms of resale value but in terms of time. For $12.50 I can watch a two-hour movie. For $60 I can play Fallout 4 or The Witcher 3 for over 100 hours and still barely scratch the surface of what they have to offer. When the prices of those games are eventually reduced, their allure, which was already strong, will grow stronger. The perceived need to own them will become undeniable. But to play them, that's a different matter. That's the conundrum of the modern video game market: Anyone can feel satisfied after buying a 100-plus hour game for an ultra-low price, but there isn't a store in existence that sells the time needed to play them all.
No. Buying a watch doesn't mean you bought ti- you now what? Forget it.
When the urge to buy every game in sight crops up, take a second to ask: If I buy it, am I doing it because I'm optimistic I'll soon find the time to fit it in among my growing backlog of everything else that's vying for my attention, or am I doing it simply because I can't resist a good deal?
The search for an answer should be easy, but those goddamn discounts are little dickheaded fairies that snatch the answer from your hands and hide it beneath a pile of every game you've ever wanted on sale for 80 percent off. They should make a game about that. I'd totally buy it. But probably not until it went on sale.
Luis is just coming up with rules for everything, and you must all obey. In the meantime, find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.
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For more rules on video games that will stand the test of time (like how all video games should allow you the option to play with another actual human being) check out The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey and maybe you can explain to us why almost any generic key can open any door after you read 29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes.
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