If you get enough family members together, you're bound to be confronted with that relative who has no filter. The one who feels free to drop N-bombs and F-bombs and, um, K-bombs.
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Why It Sucks
It's not because there's still racism in the world. You already knew that. It's not because you're apparently related to a horrible person. You already knew that, too. This isn't your first family get-together. It's because it makes you feel inculcated, as if you approve of the racist sentiment. I was once at a distant relation's barbecue and was introduced to a family friend -- a former police officer. He was talking about the old days and how much he missed "chasing n*ggers around." I was a grown man at the time and had honestly never heard someone use that word in a true sense in my presence. I didn't know what to do.
What to Do
I have no idea. I'll tell you what I did. I pretended I remembered something I had to tell my then-wife, and I left. I don't like admitting that. I feel like I should have done more, but what would I really do? I wasn't going to change this 55-year-old man's heart on race relations. I just walked away instead of offending him (even though he had offended me) and ruining my distant former in-law's barbecue. But maybe you can do better where I failed. It's hard, but I kind of wish I'd just claimed to be black, so that's my suggestion. Next time someone at a family get-together has the audacity to say something racist in your presence, I suggest you claim to be that oppressed minority, no matter how absurd:
"I think I should tell you, you happen to be talking to a Eskimo lesbian."
"But you're a white dude."
"Maybe that's how it looks to you because that's all you can see! Think about it."