By the time I started writing fan fiction, I'd already experienced the fifth-grade class where a stranger came into the room to show us pictures of what genitals look like when a person is vertically sliced down the middle while telling us that sex is something that happens. There was no explanation of why or of the appropriate time for it. It was, "Sex is there, and you might get diseases too! Later!" This left me with a very ambiguous idea of what sex was. It's kind of like how I view going back to grad school now. I know that I will probably have to face it in my future, but the particulars are a clouded mess of desire and anxiousness. And looking at it solely through the Internet will do me little good.
New Line Cinema
"Oh, sex is something Gimli and Frasier Crane do with Princess Zelda after they
rescue Mega Man from Lord Zedd and his own inner turmoil. That makes sense."
When reading fan fiction, insane, awkward sex is seen as something that is inevitable, so much so that it's disappointing when the pages don't erupt in a flurry of passion and Sonic The Hedgehog. Optimus Prime never laid the girl who's described in Train's "Meet Virginia"? What kind of Puritan scroll is this garbage? If you were looking for descriptions of sex that defy universes in my "Golden Age" work, you'd be underwhelmed. There are a few, but they read like I put my fingers on the keyboard and turned my face from the computer, typing with my eyes closed just so I could get it out of the way. In their stead, I included many scenes of an act that I had some sort of reference for. I didn't know the full A to Z of sex, but I did know H. Handjobs were the No. 1 business on my side of town, and buddy, business was a-jerkin'.