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A Whole Bunch Of Top Secret Files
This one is, in many ways, much weirder than the diamond. After all, you can certainly buy jewelry at thrift shops, but you would do a double take if you saw them on a shelf next to top secret government documents. Because for real, don't sell those at a thrift shop. Or anywhere, really. And yet here we are
Two locked filing cabinets made their way to a secondhand store in Canberra, Australia, where they were purchased, brought home, and cracked open by an excited new owner, who was probably hoping for a big bag of money with a dollar sign on it, or at least some vintage porno. Instead the buyer found thousands of documents that were labeled with fun headings like "Sensitive" and "Australian-Eyes-Only" (which was the best song Crowded House ever recorded and/or the worst James Bond movie ever).
There was a solid decade worth of top secret government files in the cabinet, which we can only hope included plans to weaponize kangaroos. In a fun twist, it was revealed that some of the documents detailed how other top-secret documents had previously been lost. It's like an Aussie Moebius strip of classified bumblefuckery. Other less hilarious and more terrifying documents detailed plans for missile upgrades, counterterrorism, and defense. Haha, oops!
How did all this end up at a secondhand store, though? The store itself was known for selling old government furniture. Any time City Hall wants new chairs, they have to ditch the old ones, after all, and this place buys and sells all that old crap. It just seems like this time, someone forgot to check the cushions for loose change before putting the couch on the curb, as it were. The Australian government probably took a moment to shit a kitten when the news broke, then pledged to launch an immediate investigation into how it happened -- which is political speak for saying you have no idea what's going on, but you'll ask around.
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