A peregrine falcon in Britain is going to set you back $7,000 or more, and count yourself lucky for that, because in the Middle East, at least one bird was sold for $437,590. That's the kind of money people get murdered over in political thrillers. The sport is even televised in the UAE, with millions of dollars going into this, which inevitably caused it to snowball out into other countries. The UK had its first race in late 2017, a case of keeping up with the Joneses where the Joneses spend enough money to keep a thousand poor families fed for years on fast birds.
Obviously there's allure in a race with prize money over $1 million, except the rich people doing it say they don't do it for money, and if you're spending $400,000 on a bird that will usually lose, that's probably true. It's for the bragging rights of having the best bird -- something that will presumably impress other very rich, bored people on their giant boats. And with races that last less than 20 seconds, it's not like anyone is watching this for entertainment value.
Just ... So Many Quack Therapies
Humans are constantly finding new ways to improve quackery. Remember HeadOn, which in the early 2000s made millions off of a commercial that just said "HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead!" about 15 times in a row without ever actually telling you what that might do for you, or what it even was? You know how many people applied that shit directly to the forehead? Point is, people pay a lot of money for bumblefuck pseudoscience, and rich people do it like champs.
Despite the fact that there is no evidence that suggests that a detox diet does anything great for you, the Mayr cure asks you to spend a week at a clinic (for $300 a night), where you dine on Epsom salts, lactose-free goat cheese, and water -- up to 600 delicious calories per day. While there, you chew your food 30 times per bite, eat nothing raw after 4 p.m., and use some laxatives and get a colon irrigation. Maybe cry by the lake. You can spend extra on things like singing bowl therapy for only $122, or muscle training with a man named Galileo. It says it right on their price list PDF. His name is Galileo.
Then there's Dracula therapy, made popular by Kim Kardashian. They call it "Dracula therapy" because your face ends up washed in blood like you just tried to headbutt a bunch of forks to death and didn't win. It's a bastardization of real platelet-rich plasma therapy, wherein a doctor removes some of your blood, separates it with a centrifuge, and injects some yellow serum back into, say, a sore joint in order to speed repair. Meanwhile, Dracula therapy, which can cost in the neighborhood of $1,000, is some straight bullshit in which they mix a vitamin cocktail and force that stuff into your face with many, many, many tiny needles, making you look as if you just washed your cheeks with steel wool.
And if Drac Face won't make you feel better, try cryotherapy, which is like the opposite of a sauna. You go into a small room and someone turns the temperature to -90 C, which you might recognize as somewhere around the right temperature to make your body shatter like the T-1000. Athletes started doing it, and then spas picked it up as a way to burn calories (likely from shivering like a goddamn chihuahua in a rain storm), improve skin, and make you feel better overall. Now it's all over the place, just a little pod cooled with liquid nitrogen that you enter for two or three minutes. Costs are in the $130 range, and remember, that's per two-or-three-minute session. All that to, as one person put it, "make your body think it's dying." Nice!
Look, if you can't get rich, tricking the rich into giving you their money in exchange for stupid bullshit is probably the next best thing.
Instead of wasting your money, consider spending it wisely on the Cracked De-Textbook for more about the bunk science all over the world.
Support Cracked's journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page, please and thank you.
For more dumb rich guy stuff, check out 9 'Smart' Products Clearly Designed For Stupid Rich People and 9 Everyday Household Items (Only Rich Idiots Would Buy).
Also, follow us on Facebook, it's free.