3

Keeping The Smallest Plot Of Land In NYC (To Piss Off NYC)

Spite doesn't always have to manifest itself in large-scale projects. Sometimes it can come to form in stuff as small as the Hess Triangle, a tiny slice of "up yours" from New Yorker David Hess, who got the screw job from the city and refused to take it with anything bordering on quiet dignity.

Hess was a property owner in New York in 1913 when officials opted to tear down a massive 11-block swath of the city in order to widen streets and build the subway system. Back then, the city just did shit like that, and if you didn't like it, all you could do is complain to your local bodega cat, probably. Hess tried to fight the city, but they destroyed his building anyway, along with many others. However, in the aftermath, it was discovered that a small triangle of Hess' property, one that was about 2x2x2 feet, had been left untouched. Hess was now the owner of the smallest plot of land in New York City.

The city asked Hess to donate the tiny speck of property to them, but Hess instead installed a plaque in the triangle that read: "PROPERTY OF THE HESS ESTATE WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN DEDICATED FOR PUBLIC PURPOSES." That was 1922 speak for "EAT SHIT. YOU AIN'T GETTIN' THIS." Hess even had to pay taxes to keep the plaque there, but it was worth it just to continually assure the city of New York how much they sucked.

Related: 5 Historic Acts Of Revenge More Epic Than Django Unchained

2

Building An Entire House To Keep People Out Of An Alley

There's some legal speak that's worth becoming acquainted with: malicious erection. It doesn't mean what you're hoping it means -- it refers to any structure, like a house or a fence, that is built entirely out of spite. And perhaps the best example of this is a tiny house in Alexandria, Virginia that is locally just called Spite House. See, in 1830, the guy who owned the property next door built this house because of rage. Specifically, rage against horse-drawn wagons. That's understandable, because fuck those wagons.

1

Building A 60-Foot Monument To "Look Down" On Rich Folk

When does spite end? When you finally decide to give up on your hate? When you become the bigger person? When you die? Well, if you follow the lead of a man named Daniel Moriarty, you'll see that pure spite never needs to have an expiration date.

The story goes that Moriarty moved to New Orleans in the 1800s and married a woman named Mary Farrell. Daniel and Mary were extremely well-off, but unable to break into New Orleans high society because as outsiders, they were still looked down upon. The upper crust only wanted New Orleans purebloods at their bead-tossing, boob-flashing extravaganzas. This really chapped Moriarty's ass, and when his wife passed away, he thought up a suitable method of letting her take her rightful place in the upper echelons of New Orleans society.

Moriarty commissioned the Moriarty Tomb, a preposterously huge monument that was over 60 feet tall, to commemorate his deceased wife. It towered above all other monuments in the historic Metarie Cemetery for the sole purpose of allowing his wife to look down on every blue blood who snubbed her in life. Seeing as it's a giant stone obelisk that features statues of women at each of its four corners (representing faith, hope, charity, and memory), it's a stunning way to tell the world, "Fuck you for not inviting us to your party."

Findagrave.com

It is really is hard to convey the sheer scale of this thing. It cost $185,000 (about $5 million in today's money), and required New Orleans to build an entirely new railroad line just to haul in all the marble. Spending millions and forcing the world to change around you just to get back at the wealthy for being unfriendly to your wife? That's kind of heartwarming.

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