Pixabay Public Domain
I love when festivals last a day. I love going places in the morning, and thinking about all the pseudo-fair food that I'm going to eat, and all the bands that I'm going to be able to see. I love the idea that, when it's over, I'm going to be able to sleep in a place that's totally separated from the other people at the festival. I'm not anti-camping. If I can finish a long hike with a flat surface to lie down on, I will ignore every email that you throw at me for the weekend. But drinking outside all day and finding that I can't go to sleep because the inhabitants of the tent that is -6 inches away from mine have decided that 4 a.m. is the perfect time to argue and hug over a shared love of misunderstanding the election process is a nightmare.
Pixabay Public DomainAs it should be.
There's a reason that you constantly hear about musicians and celebrities showing up extremely late for these gigs: They also don't want to be there. The contracts for these shows should include "You're going to play in near 100-degree weather for a group of obsessed people that have been corralled into a tiny space so as not to interfere with the tiny space of a musician playing right next to you. Also, half of these people have reached a level of intoxication that, using all medicinal logic, should have killed them by now.
These fans paid exorbitant rates to stay in this dirt haven, so they're already mad at you for not showing up 30 minutes early. And if you don't give the best performance of your life, images of your sweaty, impotent body, along with degrading comments, will be plastered across the internet, making you wonder if you should've taken your dad's advice and just accepted that audit assistant position that he offered you."
Pixabay Public DomainAnd now, here's one about my student loan debt.
It's totally all right for a crowd to get sweaty while they enjoy a band. When you pack people together and give them a rhythm to sway to, sweat happens. It's science. But there's always this misconception that the atmosphere of outdoor music festivals will lend to "special" performances. Audiences will be getting something that's more raw and emotional than their air-conditioned brethren, because stress is always linked to artistic brilliance in the case of music. Maybe it's just something that I don't get, but whenever I see a sweaty guy hoarsely shouting over a crowd of anxious folks in an attempt to please them, I don't think, Man, what a genius! I think, You know what would make this performance better? Any other season.
Daniel has a blog where he reviews Batman episodes, because of course he does.
Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World, And Why? Every summer we're treated to the same buffet of three or four science fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There's man vs. aliens, man vs. robots, man vs. army of clones and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it's time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked's Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent along with comedians David Huntsberger, Caitlin Gill, and Lizzy Cooperman to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality. Get your tickets to this live podcast here!
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