A few ignored warnings and a controlled shot to the stomach later, the second criminal was subdued. Presumably, both of them are still trying to figure out exactly which chaos god they managed to piss off so badly that it decided to sic a flash mob of The Expendables on them.
A Scooter Theft Turns Into A Hollywood Chase Scene (With An Actual Hollywood Star)
It's London, 2017. A 22-year-old guy decides to steal a scooter, which I'm surprised didn't lead to the headline "Millennials Are Killing The Baby Motorcycle Industry." This theft proves to be a mistake, because at that exact moment, the narrative laws of the universe switch to full action-movie mode. A passing stranger notices the dastardly robber, but instead of going through the usual bystander motions (move to a safe distance, dig out your phone to shoot a video for Twitter), he springs into action. Sprinting after the escaping criminal, he furiously pursues him on foot, giving absolutely zero shits about the fact that he's giving chase to a guy driving a motorized vehicle.
As the thief is making his escape on roads, the man immediately goes off-road. He vaults over walls. He takes shortcuts through back gardens and building sites. Finally, after clearing a Bourne Ultimatum-worthy obstacle course of urban landscaping, he manages to catch the scooter driving around the block, bringing the chase to an end as the terrified thief crashes his ride into a $50,000 Mercedes. Victorious in his hunt, Tom Hardy grabs the thief by the neck, and howls at the merciless blue skies: "I got the c**t!"
You know, I'm not even all that surprised. Whether he's in Mad Max, or The Dark Knight Rises, or Bronson, or just walking on the street casually eating a lollipop, Hardy has that weird aura of menace that can't be all acting. Hearing that he's actually in the habit of randomly launching into angry big-budget chases just to catch the lamest kind of vehicle thief (Scooters, guy? Really?) just causes you to nod and think: "Yeah, that makes sense."
In the interest of accurate reporting, though, it is worth mentioning that this story originally came from The Sun and the Scotland Yard initially expressed doubt over its veracity, stating that the arrest was actually made by police officers and there were no civilians giving chase. However, they've since done a mysterious U-turn and pretty much confirmed the story. And there's no way you can ever convince me this about-face wasn't because Tom Hardy dropped by and silently glowered at the entire Scotland Yard until someone gave in and issued the full story.
A Restaurant Customer Casually Stops A Robbery While Proposing To His Girlfriend
Robberies are intimidating. That's kind of their whole point. Regardless of our fantasies about how we'd totally wrestle the weapon away from a robber and subdue him with our mad skills (skillz) acquired from years of playing Tekken, the most impressive special move most of us could muster in the face of an armed robbery would be the old, time-tested "cry and pee a whole lot."