That's what this incident (and this column) comes down to: Me first! Now I get it. We all want to go first, but what is wrong with someone when they think they're literally above the law? That fellow travelers should heed the right of way on the off chance that crazy old men want to blow through stop signs and go first?
Don't worry. I took care of it. I screamed out the window, "STOP SIGN! STOP SIGN! YOU HAVE A FUCKING STOP SIGN!" I know. I'm very gifted with words. He was so impressed with my eloquence that he asked me where he could buy my novel before driving on.
Standing 10 Feet in Front of Someone Already Hailing a Cab
So maybe you don't live in New York City. I mean, I guess that's possible. Some people don't. People from Chicago, for example. Also, people from Canada. It's really too long of a list to get into.
In any event, for people in New York City (and other cities, I guess), there's a thing known as calling a cab. What you do is stand on the street, wait for yellow cars with "on duty" lights to drive by, and raise your hand or shout "taxi" or both. Oh, if you're a cartoon from the '50s, you do that two-fingers-in-your-mouth whistle thing, but I've never actually seen that in real life.
Anyway, New York City is a crowded place, and you'd probably know that if you weren't from Chicago or Canada, so sometimes you can't help it when there are more people than cabs. I get it.
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"We have cabs in Chicago, douchebag."
But sometimes people are just dicks. They want a cab. They see a person in the street waiting for a cab. And then they get a brilliant idea: walk 10 feet in front of the person already hailing a cab and start flagging. Y'see, it's a brilliant idea because the cab will see them before the person who was waiting before them.
What is going through this person's head? "Me first!" And not just "Me first," but "Me first, and fuck you, guy 10 feet behind me, as you watch me take your cab!"