This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
It's funny how our relationship with technology works. One moment you'll be in awe of your pocket supercomputer's ability to tell you if it's raining halfway around the world, and the next moment you're cursing Steve Jobs' name because you've lost an online game due to a half-second lag spike. Even though technology can be a roller coaster of emotions, we still can't get enough of it. Like the old saying goes, "Technology -- can't live with it, can't live ... ahhh, my virtual crops are ready for harvest!" To feed the insatiable hunger that is technological novelty, we've prepared some of the most essential items to add to your collection:
Ockel Sirius B Windows 10 Pocket PC
Computing technology has always been the miracle of our lifetime. The computer is a machine unlike any other -- capable of connecting to a network of billions and able to solve complex algorithms in a manor of nanoseconds, and for the first time ever, small enough that you could stick it in a toaster if you wanted. Why would you stick an Intel-powered Windows 10 Pocket PC with 2 GB of RAM in a slot you use to cook day-old bagels? We're not sure. It'd be pretty weird, but hey, dare to dream and get the Ockel Sirius B for $189.
KOAR Bone Conduction Bluetooth Headset
Walking around at night with earbuds jammed into your head is a great way to become splatter paint on an asphalt canvas courtesy of a bus. To guarantee your safety, you either have to walk the streets in solemn silence or find a way to beam those show tunes straight into your skull. Fortunately, you can simulate the latter with the KOAR Bone Conduction Bluetooth Headset. This headset will allow you to fully hear your surroundings, and even talk to your friends while you listen to your music. Buzz your inner ears for just $76.99, 48 percent off the usual price.
KlikR Universal Remote Control
If you're going to strap in for a lazy day, then you might as well go cheese-whiz-to-the-wall lazy. With a tip of your soda helmet and a wave of this universal remote, you can salute the Holy Spirits of Relaxation while leaning back as your lounge chair faces the sky. The Kirk Universal Remote Control allows you to transform your dumb electronics into smart stuff. (Provided that they have infrared receivers.) Everything from the channels to the fan speed to the mood lighting can finally all be adjusted from one central location. We expect that before long, you and the couch will have fused into one superior being. Get a Universal Remote in our store for $19.99.
As a seasoned fan of pop culture, you know that gadgets can be much more than meets the eye. If a wristwatch can be a grappling hook and a police phone booth can be a time-traveling vessel, then this seemingly simple alarm clock can certainly be an all-in-one control for your smart home. The LaMetric Time connects to hundreds of smart devices and online services like IFTTT, so you can feed your ego with a running counter of Twitter followers, make your internet light bulbs go disco when your dog escapes, and wake up in the morning greeted by your favorite tunes. It usually costs $200, but you can grab one for just $169.
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