We spent five days a week together in a post-graduate class but still found enough to enjoy in one another to party every weekend, see movies, go to dinner, basically date in all but name. We weren't a couple; we were great friends. But I did fall in love with her. And at the end of our year she got an amazing job in another city and moved away. And for a solid month we kept in touch online. And then it dwindled, and within three months we stopped speaking. To this day, about a decade later, I have never heard from her again. She was just gone, and I was crushed.
Like this nut.
I tried to find her for a while but came up with nothing. I assume if I had found her she wouldn't want to speak with me, but I don't know why. I had ostracized myself, but I don't know how. Too pushy? Too Needy? Too ruggedly handsome and charming? No idea. Didn't know then, don't know now. Never will.
I'm not sure what hurt me more, that I lost someone I cared for or that I didn't know why. But it did hurt. And that experience, along with one or two others, helped me figure out a few reactions to heartbreak that are just shitty ideas.