The mark is Thaxton Brigaand, billionaire and philanthropist. Thaxton made a fortune in the tech industry and now spends his retirement helping poor African nations get basic modern technology like singing Japanese toilets. His philanthropic ways began soon after he made his first billion, after which he received an email from a desperate African school teacher who needed money to keep local rebels away from her students. It turned out to be a Nigerian scam email, but the millions of dollars Thaxton gave to a sweaty den of email scammers allowed one young man to pay for an entire graduate and post-graduate education, ultimately receiving a doctorate in assassination.
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"And now for the ceremonial throwing of the caps so our sniping majors can blow them to bits."
That young man was Dai Teatime, international assassin. Dai's life changed after that. He was murdering dozens of people a week, no questions asked, and he put all of his money back into the small African town he called home.
Dai's assassin code was put to the test when he was contracted by Russian water park mogul, Yuri Russianame, to kill the man who always inadvertently thwarted Yuri's plans to use millions of gallons of drinkable water to build a water park beside every small African village by blindly donating millions of dollars to spammers who put the money to anti-water park efforts. That man is the same one who inadvertently paid for Dai's college tuition: billionaire philanthropist Thaxton Brigaand. Thaxton and Yuri were the best of friends, but Thaxton's refusal to believe that he'd been funding spammers tore their friendship apart.
Dai and (inadvertently) Thaxton team up to take out the villainous Yuri Russianame once and for all -- Dai with a set of guns and Thaxton with his uncanny ability to yield positive results from allowing a quarter of his fortune to be stolen from him.
Dai Teatime has franchise written all over him. He's the James Bond of spam email. So I need someone who can be smooth but also damaged. That's why I nominate ...
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