This test has a name, I guess, and it probably has a purpose, too. It's just that every time I go to the optometrist I'm too overcome with fear of that machine to hear the doctor when he tells me what it does. I'm guessing it's so the doctor can size us up and see if we flinch even when we know an attack is coming. That, or the test began as a way for optometrists to blow away your eye boogers to minimize their risk of vomiting on your face.
Every time that contraption comes within sight, the lights go dark, the world moves in slow motion, and "O Fortuna" starts playing ...
... and I know I'm fucked; really, truly fucked. There's no getting out of it. I'm going to need to sit there and take that goddamn puff of air to the eye and it's going to scare the s**t out of me every single time, today and for the rest of my time on Earth. There is no organization in the world that can guarantee to shape any of us into enough of a hardened badass to not startle like a p***y when that one-inch death puff hits.
Can look evil in the eye and kill it; will shriek pathetically if eye puffed.