Despite how obvious it is that a man should never ask another man on a date when neither man is gay, I guess this sort of thing happens. And the very unnaturalness of it made me not want to partake at all. That dude could have been taking me out for steaks and beers and rides in limos full of boobs and more steaks and beers and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I was approached in the most blunt-force-trauma-to-the-face manner possible. I was literally asked if I wanted to go out some time. I am not Molly Ringwald. You do not ask such things of me. Of anyone. It's not done.
"If we stand just right, we can use the same urinal."
The sad part of this is that, as I said, this didn't seem sexual in any way. I don't think I was part of a secret bum-sex plot. I think I was legitimately invited out to have a beer in a friendly way, and that's why it's so dickish to write a terrified article like this after the fact. It was uncomfortable and weird, and weaseling out of it made me feel bad. Barring major pathological issues or some kind of real (which is to say not self-diagnosed) Asperger's situation, most people feel bad when they let someone else down, especially if that letdown is based entirely on your own laziness and the fact that you just can't be arsed to give a damn.
I can't say if this situation is any easier for ladyfolk -- women seem to be able to socialize easier than men. They go to the bathroom together, for God's sake. I don't want to shit as part of a team, but that's just me. However, I feel it should be a universal standard that, if you desire a friendship, you let it happen on its own, rather than ask for it. That's like asking a woman you just met for sex. It seems like a good idea if you're new to reality, but in practice, your failure rate is just going to be off the charts.