Easy (And Morbid) Solution For No Samantha In 'Sex And The City's Reboot
The Sex and the City reboot is officially happening. HBO Max will be producing a limited series that follows Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte, A.K.A. the New Golden Girls, "as they navigate love and friendship in their 50s." Notice anyone missing? Yeah. Kim Cattrall, who was reportedly the reason a third Sex and the City movie never materialized after she understandably objected to a storyline that would have involved her character sexting with her friend's teenage son, insisted for the next five years that she was done with the part of Samantha Jones, which she says she "played past the finish line and then some."
But how will they explain the absence of the character who spent the last two installments of the franchise being miserable in Los Angeles and then Dubai and basically anywhere that isn't New York City? They've got an easy answer built right into the storyline, but as Cattrall's sex scenes throughout the franchise graphically illustrate, "easy" doesn't always mean "comfortable." Basically, bring back the cancer, you cowards.
During the sixth and last season of Sex and the City, Samantha's storyline primarily concerned her diagnosis with breast cancer and ensuing struggles with mid-blowjob hair loss, run-ins with nuns (or nun-ins, as Carrie would proudly and we shamefully call it), etc. According to the first Sex and the City movie, she was born in 1958, which would make her 63 years old in this, the year of our lord Beyonce 2021 and put her in one of the highest risk categories for breast cancer. Her risks are even higher as a survivor and an enthusiastic user of hormone replacement therapy (maybe, the science is still out on that).
They were already planning on offing Mr. Big in the third movie, and although there's no word on his fate in the limited series, they could kill two birds with one stone by following Carrie's grieving process for Samantha instead and letting us keep Chris Noth's dulcet tones. Or she could become a rabid Trump supporter (rather than just a moderate Trump supporter) who nobody likes to talk about.
Just spitballing here, HBO.
Manna, regrettably, has a Twitter.
Top image: HBO